Flower in the Dark
by GendoPose
Summary: Shinji's life, filled with abandonment and betrayal, has left the emotionally repressed and love-devoid Shinji a quiet genius. A more dark and somber Shinji takes the mantle of pilot of Unit-01 as he struggles to accept his new fate. Future Shinji x Asuka pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Ignorance is Bliss**

 _For frequents to my stories:_

 _Yeah so... It's been a little a while huh? A year and a half almost since the last update. If there's anyone who's keeping up with any of my stories then I commend you for you're patience. You can probably tell that this is a new story, completely separate from A Long 2 Weeks, which is a weird thing considering you'd think I want to update my story after so long. But truth be told it's been so long since I wrote that that when I re-read it to try and continue it I don't even remember what I was planning to do in future chapters. Or even remember writing the chapters myself to be honest. So yea I'm not really sure if I'll ever continue that._

 _For new readers( the majority of you):_

 _So this is going to be a bit of a different take on Evangelion. While the generic EVA fanfic/the original story depicts Shinji as shy and scared, and Asuka as this strong yet broken character, where as both are stuck on their pasts, I wanted to try something different. While I'm going to try and keep Asuka as true to her character as I can within this context, I've always to take a more realistic/dark take on Shinji's persona. In this story, Shinji's past has forged him into something of a quiet genius. He's been severely broken by everyone who has abandoned and has turned into a bit of an emo. While he doesn't hate his life and want to take his own, he pilots simply because it give him something to do. A purpose. He's ready to die and doesn't have any regrets. A more realistic take on what would happen to a modern high-schooler in his circumstances._

 _And thus begins our journey through Evangelion. Asuka x Shinji (As always)_

* * *

Shinji starred up at the gray sky above him. He watched as the clouds slowly drifted above him. He sat on the empty curb of an empty street in an empty town. It was still early, before 6 am on a Sunday morning, and no one dared leave their residence. It was completely empty and Shinji was completely alone. And he liked it that way. Shinji valued his alone time more than everything else in his life. Besides his SDAT maybe, that one was pretty important too. People often mistook Shinji as a loner, as someone who wouldn't make any friends, as someone too shy to strike up a conversation, as someone too shy to be a part of the crowd, as someone so awkward as to make people cringe mid-conversation, but the fact is that none of it is true.

While Shinji disliked crowds and socializing with people, he wouldn't go so far as to call himself awkward or shy. No far from it, Shinji was actually quite charismatic should he want to strike up a conversation. He could make friends at his school should he want to, hell he could even have girlfriends if he really wanted to. But being an interesting and likeable person makes it far too difficult to keep to yourself. If Shinji made an effort to be social even slightly he's bound to at least capture a single person's interests. But by putting on a facade of being shy and awkward, fumbling with his words and slaughtering conversations with a deadly silence, people would stay away from him simply because of how boring he is. Which worked out perfectly for him. Oh no, Shinji wasn't shy, just anit-social to the highest degree.

Shinji's father would move him from school to school constantly, putting Shinji in a perpetual awkward transitioning phase of being "the new kid". And being as people always saw the new kid as some weirdo, he didn't have to force himself to be so awkward as they people were naturally pushed away from him. The closest thing to a friend he had ever made was in middle school when a boy from his Math class saw him sitting outside smoking a cigarette and thought he was the coolest kid to ever exist.

While on the topic of cigarettes, Shinji glanced around to make sure no one was around before grabbing a single cigarette out of his pocket. He held it steady between his lips before cupping his hand around the flame of his lighter. He inhaled deeply and paused for a few seconds before letting out a deep sigh of smoke and chemicals. Very few people even knew Shinji smoked and even fewer cared. Most of them looked disgusted or worried to see someone so young ruining their lungs. When told that smoking was bad for him and would cause cancer, Shinji gave each and every one of them the same reply.

"Who wants to live longer anyways." Shinji found himself muttering to nobody. Shinji wasn't suicidal by any means, simply found his life and existence devoid of meaning.

Shinji's long brown hair was just barely spilling into his cold, calculating eyes. His dark hair and slightly larger than average nose did a good job of shadowing the majority of his face and covering any distinct features that may make him stand out. Shinji did everything in his power to make himself as bland as possible. Unfortunately, he had blue eyes. Though they were such a deep blue that unless you got really close they just looked black(maybe a reflection of his soul). Perfect for him since he was distancing himself from most people anyways.

Shinji never really cared about anything for as long as he could remember. He never really cared about having friends, never really cared about being good at sports, and he never really cared about school or his education. Shinji was smart. Smarter than most, and he was aware of it. He had never met anyone in person even remotely close or similar in age to him that ever impressed him with their intelligence. However Shinji felt no obligation to prove it anyone. If someone thought he was stupid he would make no effort to change their opinion of him.

Shinji never gave any real effort into anything either. His middle school teachers often told him if he didn't get his grades up and start taking his education seriously, reality would come and bite him in the ass. They were under the impression that Shinji thought he could get away with not trying because he assumed everything would be given to him. Little did his teachers know that Shinji had been face to face staring at reality for the past 5 years. Shinji knew that if he didn't try he wouldn't graduate, or at least never get into a good college. He knew that he wouldn't be able to build a career and would most likely end up working a job he despised 50 hours a week to come home to a home he hated just to repeat the process for 50-something years while his life slowly whittled away. But he didn't care. He never cared.

At least that's what he thought. He looked at the envelope in his hand while tapping some ash off of his cigarette into the pavement. Shinji hated his father. Shinji and his father had a similar relationship in comparison to each other. They hated seeing each other and only did when it was absolutely mandatory. The letter from his father informed that he would once again be changing schools and was being relocated to a new home. Nothing new, he got one of these letters once every 5-6 months. However this time it stated that he would be getting picked up and taken to talk to his father. It would be there first meeting in 3 years. Also instead of being placed under a guardian, he would living on his own with a monthly sum of cash given to him for food and other necessities while rent and utilities would be paid for.

Shinji reopened the envelope and took out the picture of the woman who was supposed to be picking him up. 'Misato Katsuragi' was the name written in red marker written across the photograph, along with an arrow pointing down her cleavage. She was young woman, mid twenties if he had to guess with purple hair and what looked like a scar running down her chest. While he doubted the scar would be a defining feature he'd be able to recognize her by should he see her in the street, it was still worth noting that it was definitely no hiking accident that would cause a wound so large.

Shinji put everything back into the envelope before folding it in half and putting it back in his pocket. He took one last puff before dropping the cigarette to the ground and grounding it into the cement with his shoe. As the scent of the toxic smoke lingered, he returned to watching the morning sky as it adopted more of a traditional sky blue color as opposed to the early morning gray hue.

He then felt a deep rumble within the ground beneath him. Shinji bolted up, startled by the unexpected shaking. 'Earthquake?' He thought to himself. 'No that's not it.' He recognized it wasn't an earthquake quickly. Though he couldn't describe it, the trembling felt as though it was traveling through the ground, instead of originating from deep within it. A sense of uneasiness came over him, unusual considering his usual calm composure. He looked over to his left and saw a girl. Just staring at him with a blank expression.

While he didn't feel scared, he felt as though something was off. He slowly grabbed the duffel bag full of his belongings and lifted them off the ground. When he turned back to the girl he found that she had vanished, into thin air it appeared as well, as there seemed to be nothing for her to hide behind in the large clearing she had been standing in. The feeling of uneasiness washed over him once more and was only amplified by the large flock of birds moving overhead.

All of his uneasiness disappeared in an instant and was replaced shock and awe. A large black humanoid figure appeared from behind the complex of apartments and condos, and although it wasn't facing his direction, he had the feeling that it was looking at him. Shinji froze from where he was standing. There was no clear answer as to what he should do in this situation. It was then, at that moment where Shinji for the first time in his life had drawn a complete blank as to what he should do that his problem was solved for him. He saw a car speeding down at him from the same direction that the monstrosity had risen.

As the car stopped beside him and the door flung open he instantly recognized the woman in the driver's seat.

"Did I keep you waiting long?" Misato said to him, surprisingly calm given the situation, with a smile plastered on her face. Shinji said nothing, simply jumped in the car and slammed the door before he was even situated in his seat. He threw his duffel bag between the driver's and passenger's seats and into the back seat.

"Mind telling me what the fuck that thing is?" Shinji asked the woman anxiously as she sped in the opposite direction of the gargantuan beast. Or maybe she was startled to hear someone half her age just cuss at her blatantly. However she breathed a sigh of relief. ' _At least I don't have to act like some mature adult around this kid'_ She thought to herself, relieved he wasn't as uptight as she thought he would be.

"It would be really hard to explain right now, just hold out a little bit Shinji." Misato said, not bothering to look at him.

"Where are we going anyways?" Shinji asked her yet another question.

"NERV." Misato responded coolly.

It was apparent to Shinji that this woman wasn't going to give him any of the sufficient answers he was hoping for. He turned back in his seat to see a team of tanks and an assortment of aircrafts bombard the thing with bullets, missiles, and a number of other tactical weapons. Shinji bit his lip as he watched the beast be unaffected by all the weaponry, as if merely pebbles and dirt were flying at it. ' _It doesn't look like they're bringing it down anytime soon.'_

Shinji heard the ring of a cellphone and the sounds of vibrations in the cup-holder next to his seat. Misato quickly grabbed the phone and swiftly answered the call with one hand. There was a pause as Misato seemed to be intently listening to whatever the caller had to say.

Shinji jolted forward as the vehicle came to a sudden stop.

"They're gonna do what!" Misato yelled into the phone. There was another pause as she listened. "Fucking hell." Misato muttered as she hung up the call and quickly pulled the car over on the side of the road. Misato looked at Shinji without saying a word.

"What's going on?" Shinji asked as he looked at her.

There was a bit of a pause. Almost as if Misato debated whether she should tell him the truth or not.

"They're gonna nuke the fucker."

Almost as if waiting for her word, there was loud explosion behind Misato and she quickly dove on top of Shinji, protecting his body with her own as a powerful shock wave came and shook the car and everything around them. There were loud gusts of air as the wind beat down on the windows and car. The car slowly skid across the road and suddenly flipped off of the cement.

As they tumbled and flipped inside the car, Misato stayed on top of Shinji. Though not because she was protecting him. In truth she was scared and was clinging to him out of fear, but still glad she could protect him somewhat. Even if she was somewhat displeased with the heavy aroma of cigarettes that seemed to be clinging to him. Reminded her too much of another man.

After a long moment, everything subsided and Misato arose from her position atop Shinji. Shinji sat up and breathed a deep sigh of relief. He popped the door to the car and crawled out onto the ground.

Misato soon followed Shinji's example and also got out of the car. She looked around at the destruction but said no words. They took a moment to let everything sink in, exchanging no words, just brief glances at each other over-top the car. As the smoke settled, Shinji watched in horror as it revealed a still standing humanoid figure that appeared to be melting. Like a candle that had been burning for a short period of time. Misato on the other hand had expected this.

"Give me a hand with this." Misato said as she began trying to push the car back onto its wheels. Though she strained she didn't feel it budging and as she looked and Shinji's physique she wondered if he would be much help. Though her doubts were cleared as the moment Shinji began pushing the car fell immediately back onto its wheels and Misato looked at him briefly in awe.

Misato sighed heavily.

"You smell like you've been smoking young man." She said as she slowly entered the vehicle once more.

"My old roommate was a heavy smoker." Shinji replied to the woman as he climbed over the hood and back into the car with her.

"I see. Hopefully no damage from second-hand-smoke." Misato said. She had a hunch that wasn't truth. Or at least it wasn't the reason for the scent on his clothes. She wouldn't push it though, now wasn't the time to put the boy under even more pressure. Seeing as the next few hours would end up being some of the most stressful of his life.

* * *

They arrived at the NERV facilities shortly after. Shinji followed Misato through the maze of corridors, knowing full well that she had absolutely no idea where she was going. 'Does she even work here?' Shinji asked himself. Of course he knew the answer to that. He noticed the NERV name tag on her red jacket from the moment he lay eyes on her.

He followed the woman into an elevator, and watched her intently stare at the buttons.

"Shit." Misato quietly muttered under her breath, not unheard by Shinji however. Misato pressed B3 and hoped that luck would play out in her favor for once.

As the double doors to the elevator opened, a blond woman in a lab coat wearing a stern expression on her face appeared before them.

"Where have you been Katsuragi." The woman asked Misato with a cold voice.

"Oh come on Ritsuko don't be so harsh. We ran into some trouble on the way here." Misato said lightheartedly, feigning her innocence.

"You got lost didn't you."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Well it doesn't matter. Is this the boy?"

"Yes."

Ritsuko simply nodded and gestured for them to follow her. She walked through the hallways confidently as she lead them to the room that would change Shinji's life forever.

* * *

Shinji walked into a dark room that had a narrow walkway running through the center of its open space. On either side of the walkway seemed to be nothing, just black darkness. Shinji walked through the center and heard his footsteps echo off the tile flooring. He stood in the very center of the room and looked around, looking for anything that might give him a clue of what he should be doing.

Suddenly the bright lights flashed on in an instant, temporarily blinding the boy. As he regained his sight, he took a step back in awe as he looked at the large humanoid head that in front of him. The shape of it's head and purple and green color-scheme gave it a reptilian-like appearance and made it look all the more ominous.

"That is Unit-01. The first functional EVA. Humanity's last hope at defeating the angels." Shinji immediately recognized the cold and deep voice. "And you, Shinji, are going to pilot it."

Shinji looked up above him and saw his father standing on a raised platform with an uncaring, cruel expression plastered on his face. His eyes told him everything he needed to know. There was nothing more he wanted of Shinji than to simply pilot it. Shinji grimaced. Shinji was overcome with an emotion he was unfamiliar with. Confusion.

"And how would you expect me to know how to pilot this thing?" Shinji replied to his father with a question, mimicking his cold voice.

"We will ensure that you know what to do once you are in the entry plug." Gendo Ikari said to his son, looking down on him.

"And why must it be me, a 15 year old boy, as opposed to a highly train professional."

"The specifics of what happens here at NERV can only be revealed to those who work here. Piloting the EVA would classify you as employed here, and thus I would be able to provide you with answers."

Shinji knew there had to be some reason for the pilot required to be a child. His father wouldn't place this duty on him if there wasn't.

"And I would be fighting that "Angel" out there?" Shinji asked.

"Yes."

Shinji took a moment to think about everything. He saw the minimal effect the weapons and bombs had on the Angel. Would this monster fair any better. As he looked into its dead eyes, the feeling of power seemed to radiate from the EVA.

There was a deep rumble and shake. Shinji nearly lost his balance and looked up to see large amounts of debris falling from the ceiling in his general area. Shinji lost his footing and simply watched in horror as the rubble came towards him. He didn't flinch however, something he was unable to explain. He watched as he heard the cringe-worthy sound of metal being bent and snapped and watched as the EVA's arm raised over Shinji as a protective barrier and the rubble fell on and around the appendage, leaving Shinji completely unharmed.

Gendo allowed himself a small smile as he saw the confused and shocked expression his son had taken on. Shinji's expression quickly changed however to stern.

"Alright I'll do it. I expect some answers after this is over though." Shinji said looking up at his father, neither of them showing any sign of emotion.

* * *

Shinji sat anxiously in the entry plug. He awkwardly gripped the controls and wondered what he was supposed to do besides wait. He was scared. He was beyond scared. He doubted he would be able to do anything in this thing. He didn't want to do this, oh no, he wanted to run away from this and his father and leave it to be someone else's problem. But he knew that if his father that wanted to nothing to do with his son had called him, the circumstances must be dire. His father would much prefer talking to a stranger on the street than to his child, so him being asked, rather, commanded by his father to do the rest was a display of how bad this must have been.

He fiddled in the uncomfortable seat as he awaited directions. Suddenly an orange fluid began filling up the entry plug and the rising level made him worry. An image appeared to his left of the blonde scientist he had met earlier.

"Um, ma'am there's something filling this place up." Shinji said to the woman attempting not to panic or show signs that he was cracking under the pressure.

"That is LCL fluid. It will bring oxygen directly into your lungs and help your sync ratio. And you can call me Doctor Akagi." she said to him through the communication system.

"So how does it work." Shinji was confused by the statement 'bring oxygen directly to your lungs' although maybe he shouldn't be worried about how it worked seeing as the fluid was now level with his chest.

"Basically just let yourself drown."

Shinji had no time to argue the absurdity of this statement as the entry plug filled more rapidly then before and quickly completely submerged him in the liquid. Shinji attempted to hold his breath but after just half a minute he let the air out of his lungs and let the LCL fill his longs. It was an odd feeling, equivalent to what he imagined breathing under whatever would be like. Still, it was unpleasant. Though he couldn't technically smell anything, he scent and taste were far too similar to blood for him to describe it as anything else.

In another room, scientists were marveling at the numbers displayed on their NERV super-computers.

"Dr. Akagi! His sync-ratio is already well over the threshold and seems to be stabilizing in the fortieth percentile." a technician yelled over to the doctor.

"Amazing, he's not even wearing a plug-suit." the Doctor said as she walked over to the technician and peered over his shoulder at the readings.

"Alright Shinji. We're sending you up." Doctor Akagi said to him as she flipped the switch.

Shinji jolted to a stop and he found himself surfaced above street level. The ride upwards was incredibly nauseating.

"Alright we're gonna take this one step at a time. Literally." Misato said to Shinji as he looked over and saw her worried face on the monitor.

Shinji didn't really know what he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to move. He simply did what he felt was right and pulled on one of the triggers in his hand. The right leg of the EVA took a step forward. Everyone in NERV was shocked that he even moved a single part of the EVA with no prior training.

Shinji felt confident as he took his first step forward. However his confidence quickly shriveled up and died as he saw the Angel round the corner of a building and look directly at him. Shinji gulped worry crossed his features. Everyone watching over Shinji took notice of his state.

"Just keep doing what you were doing Shinji, don't worry we'll walk you through this." Misato reassured Shinji. However in her head she wondered if Shinji really would be able to fight this thing.

Shinji took another step. He felt the forward momentum of the EVA and felt as though he somewhat had the hang of it. However he quickly panicked as he felt the forward momentum shift into downward momentum and slammed into the ground. There was a loud thud and rumble as the large machine bounced off the ground with a thud.

Shinji's forehead hurt as if he had hit it and wondered if he hit something in the entry plug as he slammed into the ground.

"Shinji look out!" he heard Misato's worried yell from the monitor and realized that the Angel was standing over him looking down at him.

The Angel grabbed the EVA by the head and began to pull at its left arm. Shinji felt the pain in his arm imminently and saw the physical strain on his arm. He attempted to pull at the triggers through the pain but it wasn't helping. He tried to ignore the pain but as the arm was snapped and the wrist fell limp Shinji closed his eyes and flinched. Though the damage wasn't real the pain certainly was.

The Angel then began pounding on Unit-01's skull with an internal mechanism within the Angel's arm. Shinji cupped his hands over his head hoping to protect himself from the pain. He was in complete terror and panic had overtaken him. Shinji was always calm and level headed but he had no solutions for the problem in front of him and simply wanted to escape the pain. The mechanism within the Angels arm, with one final strike, blew threw the EVA's head and sent it flying and pinned it against the very same mechanism that brought it to the surface.

The Angel retracted its long needle of an AT-Field and Unit-01's head dropped lifelessly as blood sprayed forth from the wound. The last thing he heard was Misato scream his name in terror.

Shinji abruptly awoke in an all white room. He started up at the bright light over-head. ' _Unfamiliar ceiling'_ He though to himself. He sat up in the hospital bed and cupped his head in his right hand. He looked at his left and saw that there was no damage. ' _What happened to me?'_ Shinji thought to himself. But made no conscious attempt to remember. He realized that he'd rather not know what horrors unfolded last night.

He was better off staying ignorant.

* * *

 _After writing and re-writing way more times than necessary, here it is!_

 _Chapter 1..._

 _of so many other chapters..._

 _such a short chapter..._

 _What did I get myself into._


	2. Chapter 2

**Souls**

Shinji stepped out of the room and looked out of the large window across from all of the rooms. The sunlight blinded him. He sighed heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at his reflection in the glass, he saw his hair was tainted slightly orange to look an auburn color. He pulled gently, squeezing his hair between his fingers to see if it would come out that easily.

Of course it wouldn't.

He let out another deep sigh.

A giggle came from behind him. Shinji looked over his shoulder and saw a girl roughly his age with hair a much brighter shade of the same color his hair was stained. She was wearing a school uniform and leaned against a wall a few feet down from the door he had come out.

"Shower right when you get out of the LCL rookie. That stuff doesn't come out easy if you let it sit." She had her arms crossed in front of her and she had an amused look on her face.

"And you might be?" Shinji asked the strange girl. Her blue eyes lit up when he asked the question. ' _Oh boy she's been waiting for a reason to introduce herself.'_

"Well I'll have you know that your graced with the presence of the greatest EVA pilot to walk this planet. Pilot of Unit-02 and the only woman to-"

"I was looking for a name." Shinji cut her off. Shinji couldn't stand these types of people. The type of person who's ego was so inflated they could get off to saying their own name.

"Asuka Langely Soryu." She responded in an annoyed voice, a stern look on her face. She hated being cut off, and having a rookie interrupt her in the middle of what would one day be written in history books.

Shinji opened his mouth to speak but was immediately stopped.

"I know you're name Ikari. Save it."

"That wasn't what I was going to say." He said back to her.

She looked angry and her brow furrowed.

"Then say whatever you were going to."

"Why is it that I had to pilot last night if we have another pilot here?"

"Because my Unit-02 isn't here."

Shinji waited for her to elaborate on her last point but it never came. The silence loomed between them.

"Where is it?" Shinji asked.

"Geez so many questions Ikari you're so nosey, but if you must know it's on its way here from Germany." She responded in a tone that Shinji disliked heavily.

Well that explains the unnecessary pause.

"And you're not able to-"

"Well I see you two are getting along." Misato walked down the hallway. Next to her was a blue haired girl who was also roughly around Shinji's age. She looked strangely familiar but he couldn't remember where he had seen her.

"Ikari seems to be enjoying our conversation a little too much, it's making me uncomfortable." Asuka said acting innocent

"Love at first sight?" Misato asked teasingly looking at Shinji.

Shinji's facial expression didn't change. Everyone expected to him to say something.

He said nothing. This was Shinji's usual routine of being forcibly awkward.

"Oh don't worry Shinji I was just joking." Misato said forcing a laugh. Oh was he ruining his chances at being friends with them. "Are you feeling okay? Anything hurt?" She asked him.

"Yes and no." Shinji responded.

"Whats wrong?" Misato questioned worriedly.

"No I meant like yes to the first question and-" Shinji stopped himself. "-never mind. Yeah I'm fine."

Asuka let out a 'hmph' and turned around swiftly, flipping her hair and start strutting down the corridor.

"Get changed and you're coming home with us." Misato handed Shinji a plastic bag filled with some clothes.

"I appreciate the offer but I already have a place I'm supposed to stay." Shinji told her, secretely disgusted with the idea of living with Asuka.

"I've already talked to the Commander and it's all been sorted out. While you're here in Tokyo-3 I'll be your legal guardian." Misato told him, unaware of how much he disliked the idea.

"Oh, alright. Where is my stuff?" Shinji said, trying to suppress his current disdain for the woman. _'You ruined a perfectly good thing woman.'_

"I already took it back to the apartment." The thought slipped Shinji's mind when he first received the clothes, but she had to have taken from his bag.

Which meant going through his bag. And his stuff. And his cigarettes. And his lighters. And his rolling papers.

Fuck.

As Shinji went into the hospital room and opened the plastic bag he took out his normal pair of black slacks and his white button-up shirt. He thought about where he was going and what it all meant. He changed very slowly, hoping to put it off as long as possible. He then remembered the more quiet blue haired girl. She was with Misato too. Was she living with them too?

Fuck.

He would be living with 3 people he barely knew. One of which he already disliked within the first 5 minutes of meeting, one who would surely disapprove of his... hobbies per-say, and one who he knew absolutely nothing about.

Shinji slowly walked out of the room and saw the blue haired girl walking towards what appeared to be an exit and simply followed her. He followed down a series of turns until she eventually stopped and entered a patients room. He wasn't supposed to follow her.

Fucking fuck.

Okay so he was only living with 2 people he didn't know. That was at least slightly less shitty. Slightly. He back-tracked down the turns he had made and when he returned to his room he saw an exit in the opposite direction very close to his room. ' _I'm retarded.'_ Shinji thought to himself. He walked out and saw the car they were both standing by, and noticed it was not the same car that was border-line totaled during yesterday's endeavors.

Shinji walked over and jumped into the backseat miserably.

"Geez Shin-chan you sure took you're time, we were starting to get worried about you." Misato said cheerfully to him in the backseat. Shinji heard his new nickname and internally cringed. Could this get any worse.

"Don't blame the poor boy, I doubt he could hold out until we got home after seeing me for the first time." Asuka said in a high-and-might voice.

Yes it definitely could.

"Shinji I'm really sorry to just abruptly tell you that you're living with us but I have to go right back to work after I drop you kids off so it'll just be you and Asuka until later tonight is that okay?"

"Don't try anything funny Third."

Third? What's with these nicknames.

* * *

When they arrived at the apartment complex, Misato swiftly kicked them out of the car and sped off in the direction they came.

"Follow me Ikari."

As the two of them stepped into the elevator, they both gravitated towards opposite sides of the small box.

"So... You excited to be living with two woman? Especially one as beautiful and charming as myself.." Asuka broke the ice with more narcissistic remarks.

Shinji sighed heavily and looked towards the elevator doors.

"I really hope the next Angel kills me." Shinji said. As the double doors opened neither of them moved. "Lead the way Soryu-sama."

Asuka was not liking this boy but at the same time found him oddly interesting. He wasn't head over heels for her the moment he saw her and even with some small incentives to flirt back he was showing some signs of retaliation.

As they opened the door to the apartment Shinji immediately smelled it. Alcohol. As he walked in he noticed several empty beer cans lying across the floor. Not to mention the complete state of ruin the apartment was in. ' _Oh joy'_ Shinji thought to himself.

As he stepped into the small apartment he saw that neither Misato or Asuka bothered to clean the place and just left he mess to pile up infinitely.

"Do you know where my shit is?" Shinji asked her.

"You'll know which room is yours." Asuka replied blandly as she threw her shoes messily by the door, taking note of how neatly Shinji took his off.

As Shinji walked down the small corridor he saw a room with a small sign that read 'Shinji's lovely suite'. _'She's just trying to make me miserable at this point.'_ He mused. He walked into the small room and saw his duffel bag sitting on the bed. He unzipped it and looked through the bag. He had never been so happy that he kept his more, ahem, secretive things in the more accessible side pockets, seeing as Misato didn't feel the need to check those. Shinji breathed a heavy sigh of relief and walked into the small conjoined kitchen/living room.

Shinji looked in the fridge to see nothing but an endless supply of booze. _'Maybe Misato and I will get along better than I thought.'_ He thought to himself. He glanced back over his shoulder to Asuka who was mumbling something in what he assumed was German. ' _Maybe...'_

"What are you staring at perv! You get your money's worth?"

' _Not a chance.'_

Shinji began looking inside all the different doors to the rooms attempting to find the bathroom so he could get the disgusting residue out of his hair. As he approached a certain door just before he could open it he heard Asuka's angry voice.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Trying to find the bathroom."

"You could have just asked me you know, I kinda live here smart one."

"Yeah yeah, just tell me where it is."

Asuka pointed to a door to her left. As Shinji entered the room he was pleased to see a neat stack of folded towels near the shower. Something he didn't expect in his dumpster of an apartment. Though it wasn't the worse place he had stayed it still didn't exactly live up to what he considered suitable.

He closed the door and let the water run.

' _The hell is up with that kid.'_ Asuka thought to herself and she flipped on the TV and flopped down on the couch. ' _The perv nearly went into my room.'_ She never imagined two of the three pilots would be so boring. She hoped they would be as magnificent her, or at least close. Instead she got Rei Ayanami, a blue haired doll that would do anything you asked her, and Shinji Ikari. Sadly she had been sleeping at the time of the first Angel and wasn't able to come to yell at Shinji along with Misato during his first deployment.

Though even she had to admit his initial sync-ratio was incredible. She trained for years just to get her EVA to appear conscious, and this kid could just jump in the entry-plug and get a 40% like it was nothing. Even so that was just about the only interesting thing about the kid.

Well...

Maybe not the _only_ thing...

She did find his attitude at least somewhat intriguing. He seemed _too_ calm for some reason, even in this situation he couldn't like at all. She could tell they weren't going to get along just from they're first conversation. Yet he didn't do anything that explicitly told her he didn't like her. He was aggressively passive-aggressive. ' _At least he's decent looking.'_

Shinji stepped out of the bathroom drying his still damp hair. She was slightly taken aback at how dark his hair truly was. Though it was still noticeably brown, it was practically black. She had hoped they shared both hair and eye color, but only one of the two would have to suffice.

Shinji caught her gawking at him as he stepped out of the bathroom.

"Get your money's worth?" Shinji said to her as he turned back and went back to his room.

"What did you say to me twerp!" She yelled to him but the only response she got was the sound of his door closing.

She stood up to get something to drink and looked into the bathroom as she walked by. She was surprised at the state of the bathroom. Everything looked exactly as it had before he used it, better even. The towel on the ground in front of the tub was neatly folded into a perfect rectangle and there was no water on the ground, a nice contrast to Misato who got water everywhere when she took her baths. In fact, a bath sounded good right now. She started running the water and went back to the kitchen to start boiling water for some tea.

Shinji stepped out of his room as he heard the whistle of the tea kettle. He saw Asuka standing by the counter with the tea kettle pouring herself a cup of hot water. He began walking up to her.

"You don't care if I have some do you?" Shinji asked her, though his voice apparently startled her as she shook and spilled the hot water on her left hand.

"Son of a bitch!" She quietly yelled as he put the kettle down and started running the sink with water.

Just as she was about to put her hand underneath Shinji grabbed her wrist and kept her from sticking her hand in the cold water. He felt the water with his finger and saw it was just as cold as he suspected. He turned the handle down slightly and turn the other handle slightly until the water was cooler and closer to room temperature.

"Don't ice a burn." He said to Asuka as he released her hand.

"Don't sneak up on people you fucking idiot." She said to him as she ran the water over her burned appendage.

"Pay more attention to your surroundings." Shinji over his shoulder as he searched the cabinets for anything to cover the burn. "Aren't you supposed to be a trained combatant?" It felt like everything he said was to piss her off. Was he testing her? Oh no, that was her duty in relationships.

Once he finally found a roll of bandages he pulled them out of the upper cabinets and set them down on the counter. He grabbed some paper towels and began wiping up the spilled water. He picked up the teacup and wiped the bottom of it before setting it back down gently and searching for a place to throw out the paper towels.

He looked at her hand under the running water. It didn't look serious, seeing as there were no blisters. Shinji grabbed a few more sheets of paper towel.

"Give me your hand." Shinji said to her.

"I'm not a child, I've gotten a burn before." Asuka replied with harshly.

"Suit yourself." Shinji said as he handed her the sheets of folded paper towel.

He finished pouring Asuka's cup and poured himself a cup(after several moments of searching for the cups and glasses) and began brewing the tea. He looked over to Asuka who was struggling to bandage herself with one hand. Shinji allowed himself a small smile.

"What's so funny Third?" Asuka said angrily

"How much sugar do you want?" Shinji asked, avoiding her question. He pulled the lid off the small glass container that held the sugar cubes.

"Four." Asuka said.

He dropped four cubes into the brown liquid as he removed the tea-bags from each cup. He put one into his own cup and looked through the drawers for the utensils. He heard the opening and closing of a drawer and saw Asuka holding out a tea-spoon to him. He stirred the tea before grabbing his cup and walking back to his room.

Asuka let out her trademark 'hmph' before taking a large gulp of the tea and walking towards the bathroom. She closed the door and began undressing. She realized that in her attempts to prove herself self-sufficient to Ikari she forgot that she would be undressing so soon. She then came to another realization when she was just in her underwear. She needed a change of clothes. Of course she could just wear her school uniform but seeing as she didn't wear that around the house there was only one possible course of action.

She opened the bathroom door and looked around before deeming it safe to venture out. She walked quietly to her room, grabbing a pair of shorts and a large tea-shirt. She once again looked outside her bedroom door to make sure she was safe to make the trek back to the bathroom. She slowly walked back and closed the door once again. That could have been worse. Much worse. Asuka finished undressing before getting into the tub and preparing herself for the few minutes of relaxtion she would get today.

* * *

Asuka came out of the bathroom in her rather skimpy attire with her wet hair tied up in a bun. She leaned against the door frame of the bathroom with a small hand towel hanging over her shoulders.

"Oh Shinji-kun!" She called out in a seductive voice. She heard no response. As she stepped out into the living room/kitchen area she immediately noticed the lack of mess. Everything had been picked up from the floors, the dishes had been done, the counters and table had been wiped.

She stepped into the hallways where the bedrooms and called out to him again. Still no response. ' _And I'm the inattentive one'_ Asuka thought to herself. She knocked on the door to his bedroom and called out one last time, louder than before. Third time's a charm right?

Guess not.

Asuka had enough of this and stormed into his room.

"Do you not he-" Asuka stopped herself realizing the room was empty. She saw that the only things in the room were some books on top of his dresser, an SDAT player on the small table next to his bed. She walked over to the stack of books and picked up the one on top. 'Crime and Punishment' was the title of the book. She wouldn't have guessed that Shinji was a big reader or that he would be into this type of genre. Maybe he wasn't a complete idiot? She opened the drawers and saw nothing but white button-up shirts and black slacks.

No he still was.

Shinji walked on the sidewalk with 3 small bags of groceries back towards the direction of the apartment complex. He was shocked at the lack of food he found as he cleaned the small apartment. He was also shocked as to how many bras two girls could hide in a space that small. He found them all over the place, under the sink, under the couch, behind the TV, in the pantry, hell he even found one in the freezer. Not to mention a penguin. That was interesting. Though the penguin didn't seem too happy to be seeing another person. Kindred spirits perhaps?

As he stepped into the small elevator he wondered how much time had passed since he had left. He didn't own watch and didn't see any clock in the grocery store he was in. He walked into the small apartment, pretty sure it was the right one. He was happy to see his memory had served him right and set down the groceries on the counter top. He opened the fridge and made room in the stockpile of beer for some of things he had bought.

"And you were where exactly?" Asuka questioned the boy kneeling in front of the fridge, taking out cans of beer.

"Store."

"Getting...?"

"Food."

"There's plenty of food in this house."

"If you plan to keep up that appearance your so proud, of you may want to eat something other than cupped noodles and greasy take out every now and then."

"Well unless you plan to cook it yourself then your out of luck. Misato can't co-"

"That's fine. I don't like other people cooking my food anyways."

"Hmph. It's all the same to me, but I doubt you'll make anything I find particularly good." Asuka gave her final comment as she walked back to her room, not bothering to help the boy. She lay down on her bed and wondered if him moving in was really the worst thing that had happened. Maybe Misato had planned this, knowing everything about the boy. That wouldn't be unlike Misato. Or maybe she was just being nice. She thought back to when Misato had took her in as well.

* * *

Asuka stood leaning up against a wall, backpack over her shoulders, suitcase leaned up against the wall next to her.

"There's no way this girl is living on her own!" Misato yelled over the phone. "Talk to the commander about it she's coming home with me." Misato slammed the phone back into the receiver. "Now then, shall we get going?"

"I can't believe they didn't have my arrangements to live with Kaji sorted out when I got here. They should pay closer attention to the needs of the world's greatest pilot." Asuka said proudly, flipping her hair back over her shoulder.

"Yes they should."

Of course she didn't exactly mind living with Misato either. She had known Misato since she was a child and she felt like a mother to her. Though she was aware of Misato's drinking habits, and hoped she wouldn't be learning anything new and disturbing about her way of life.

She had arrived in the country just a few hours prior but the sun was already beginning to set. Her Unit-02 was being transported overseas and would be arriving in about a month.

"Let's get going shall we?" Misato said to the young pilot. Asuka only nodded in response, following the Director of Operations.

Misato helped move the mountain of moving boxes that contained a variety of Asuka's possessions. They loaded all the small boxes into the trunk and backseat of Misato's car. As Misato put the last box in the backseat she cracked her knuckles and closed the door.

"Ready to go?" Misato asked.

"Yup." Asuka said as she threw herself into the passengers seat. The sun had already set but it wasn't completely dark yet. Asuka's internal clock was a little shaken. She had left Germany when it was pitch black and once she got off the horrendous twelve hour flight she was right back in the dark. Just like her job at NERV.

"I need to stop by the store to get some things is that okay?" Misato asked as she turned the ignition to the car.

"Yeah no problem." Asuka said kindly. Normally her relationship with Misato was a bit more childish and playful but the woman was about to basically adopt her. Even she would feel rude saying something impolite in the moment, even if satirically or sarcastically.

As Misato sat back in the car with a small bag of groceries Asuka was looking out the window. She had waited in the car as Misato went to get her things. Coming to Tokyo-3 was still a bit of a culture shock for her and she was still just taking it in.

"We just have one more stop to make alright?" Misato said with a hint of excitement and a huge smile across her face.

As they approached the top of the Misato stopped the car and opened the door. She walked up to the edge of the steep cliff. Asuka followed in suit and stood next her and looked out on to the city.

"It's a nice view." Asuka said to the woman while she looked out onto Tokyo-3.

"Just wait a moment." Misato said.

As if on command, Asuka watched in amazement as buildings seem to grow out of the ground at the queue of the sirens she could hear blaring through-out the city. Skyscrapers appeared out of no-where and large buildings with reflective surfaces arose and turned to face them.

"This is the special fortress-city for intercepting Angels." Misato said as Asuka looked out, gazing upon

Tokyo-3's true state. "Tokyo 3. This is your new home. And it's the city you'll soon be protecting."

* * *

Asuka awoke to a loud sizzle and instantly recognized it as the sear of a pan. _'Shit I fell asleep'_ Asuka thought to herself as she sat up in her bed, rubbing the crust out of her eyes. The sun had already dipped below the red horizon and night was ensuing. Asuka carefully walked to the door, being careful not to trip on anything in the dark room. She slid the door open and looked in the direction of the kitchen.

"Ohayou."(Good morning) Shinji called out to Asuka behind his back as he stirred what was in the pan. "Sleep well?" Shinji asked as he turned off the stone and emptied the pan's contents into three separate plates. Asuka couldn't help but laugh when she saw the apron-clad Shinji standing there with a wooden spoon in his hand.

"I really like the new look Shinji. It really brings out the housewife in you." Asuka said as she sat down at the table and put her head down. Shinji couldn't help but chuckle a little at that one. He expected something along those lines when he put it on, but white shirts and cooking tend not to mix well.

At that moment the front door to the apartment flung open and Misato waltzed in.

"Tadai-" (I'm ho-) Misato stopped when she took a whiff of the scent that lingered in the air. "Asuka are you cooking something?" Misato yelled from behind the corner. Shinji heard her violently fling her shoes off and hurriedly run down the hallway. _'Probably worried she'd burn the house down.'_ Shinji thought to himself as he took off his apron and threw it under the sink.

Misato peeked around the corner and noticed the cleanliness of the apartment and was slightly taken aback.

"Geez Asuka you went really out of your way to impress Shinji didn't you?" Misato said teasingly.

"As if. Oh no, our new pal Shinji here took the liberty of becoming designated housewife. He'll be handling the cooking and cleaning around here." Asuka said, head still buried in her arms. A frown came across Misato's face. She had gotten her hopes up.

"Oh come on Asuka you really should try to-"

"Don't listen to her. She helped out more than she says she did." Shinji cut off Misato as he got the plates out and set on the table. A smile reappeared across Misato's face. Asuka's head popped up from hearing this.

"Aw I just knew you two would get along." Misato said. "Wait just a minute, I'll go get changed." Misato said as she ran off into her room.

Asuka was surprised that Shinji saved her from getting lectured like he did. He reacted so quick and spoke so calmly she almost believed it herself.

"Thanks." Asuka said as she put her head down. His motives still confused her. Though he gave her some sass and they really didn't see eye-to-eye, she knew his heart was in the right place.

"Only said that because it would be weird if she knew a fourteen year-old boy she just met was cleaning her room." Shinji said.

Maybe.

"Wait." Asuka began. "What grade are you in?" Asuka asked him.

"Ninth, same as you." Shinji said. Asuka looked puzzled. "Early birthday." Shinji explained.

Asuka laughed a little bit.

"You really are a child. I'm almost two years older than you." Asuka said.

It was mid-September and Shinji had just turned fourteen in late August, where is Asuka would be turning sixteen in early December.

Misato stepped out into the living in room in similar fashion as Asuka. She wore extremely short jean-shorts and tank top that did not fit her whatsoever. She sat down at the table next to the Asuka in a lazy manner.

"Shinji grab me a beer will you." Shinji brought back a beer along with the last plate and sat down along with them.

Oh he could just tell this was going to be awkward. As Mistao cracked open the beer with a hiss, Asuka took her first bite of Shinji's cooking. It was actually good. Though he would never heard that.

"It's not terrible, I'm actually somewhat impressed Third." Asuka said as she stuffed her face. "I'm surprised you can cook dishes aside from the basics, like pasta, rice, that kinda stuff."

"It's stir-fry," Shinji began. "You just throw shit into a pan. I'm sure even you could figure it out."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Asuka said raising her voice a little. Misato watched the two of them go at it.

"Well maybe you couldn't."

"It was a rhetorical question baka, I know what you meant, I'm not stupid."

"No it's not."

"Yes it was."

"A rhetorical question is a question without expecting an answer."

"Or a question with an answer so obvious that no answer is needed."

"If the question is so obvious then why would you ask it."

"Because I want you to say it directly baka."

"I'm calling you stupid is what I'm saying."

"Listen her-"

"Now-now kids," Misato stopped Asuka before she started a fight. Though she wasn't expecting Shinji to actually be able hold his ground in an argument with Asuka. "Let's not get too riled up now." Misato finished along with her beer. "Thank you for making dinner for us Shin-chan."

Oh god not _that_ nickname again.

Shinji just gave an 'mhm' through his chop sticks. Asuka stared at the boy, still fuming. She ignored her anger and continued eating her meal. She couldn't remember the last time she had any home-cooked food. Shinji was right about his comments about her diet, though she'd never tell him that either.

The rest of dinner played out with Misato slamming another 3 beers, flirting awkwardly with Shinji, Asuka being disgusted, Shinji and Asuka getting into another little banter before they all went to their rooms and called it a night.

* * *

Night's passed slow for Shinji. He never could sleep and when he did it was usually from morning till afternoon. He almost never slept when everyone else did and he had come to terms with that. At first he tried sleeping pills along with a plethora of other drugs to try to get him asleep but nothing to work. Now most of his nights were spent either reading or listening to his SDAT. Tonight fell under the latter. He lay on his back, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling, though one he knew he would have to get used to.

His life had changed in an instant, literally overnight. Though he wanted to tell himself he was happy here, hoping to confuse himself with some placebo, he really wasn't. He hated other people, he hated being social, he hated being forced to talk to people. And on top of all that, he just naturally hated Asuka. She was under the impression that she was some infallible genius that no one could touch. She put on a front of being more intelligent than everyone else, but he saw right through it. To him she was just a stupid pampered girl who died from overdose on pride in a past life and was reborn with fully developed ego.

He never imagined himself in a situation like this. But his whole life changed in the events of last night.

Last night...

A splitting pain struck Shinji and the memories of last night all returned to him in a flash. The events of the battle with the Angel were branded into his head suddenly and with no warning. Before he knew it, Shinji was out the front door of the apartment with a lighter and a cigarette.

He sat barefoot on the curb outside the apartment complex.

Click. Click. Click.

Stupid thing never worked.

The reassuring flame finally appeared before him.

He took a drag from the cigarette and looked up at the stars. It was the only ceiling he was always familiar with. He exhaled deeply and tried not to think. The blood curling scream of Unit-01 was still seared into his mind. He felt what it's like to be drenched in blood from head to toe. It was chilly outside and the feint breeze only made it cooler. Shinji liked it like this. Alone and cold. He should just run away. It would be so easy. But that was a thought for later. No thinking right now.

The more he thought, the more it hurt.

* * *

 _So yeah this chapter is late and I apologize for that. I had another chapter written out but I read it over and fucking hated it so I scraped it. Promise to be more on time with future uploads._


	3. Chapter 3

_Well now might be a good time to address some things pertaining to the story. As some of you pointed out, I did get Asuka's age wrong as well as Shinji's birthday wrong. Both of these were deliberate however I didn't skimp on any of my research I assure you. I kept Shinji's age the same however just one year later. I'm basing Shinji's birthday off of my life experiences because I have a very late august birthday as well as a year later than everyone. As for Asuka I made a quite dramatic change with her age for a few reasons. Asuka is aged 2 years older than from the original Evangelion and 1 year from those of you from the rebuilds. I pushed Asuka's birthday back 1 year as well as this in this story I have the setting 1 year later than the original._

 _In short, Shinji's the same age as he was in the original Evangelion, and Asuka a few year older. I made them both a bit more mature in this story (especially in some later planned scenes) and I felt like keeping them as 13 and 14 year-olds was just odd. Though Shinji hasn't gotten older its the context around him that's been changed. Instead of being a little older than everyone in his grade and naïve, instead hes a year younger and much brighter than most of his peers._

 _I don't plan to make either Asuka or Shinji definitively smarter than the other, just because making Shinji overwhelmingly smarter than Asuka would make their interactions weird and making Asuka more intelligent would just kinda be the same as normal Evangelion._

 _Well this has been a long AN but it seems fitting as I'm expecting this to be a longer chapter._

* * *

Shinji awoke from the light sleep had just barely managed before the night had come to a close. He had slept maybe an hour and now had to go to school. He was unable to sleep with the scream of Unit-01 ringing so freshly in his ears. Shinji sat up in his bed and ran his fingers through his hair while rubbing his eyes. He could hear someone stomping around the apartment(presumably Asuka) and looked at his alarm clock. It was just a few minutes past 6 in the morning and they didn't have to start walking until about 7 as Misato had informed him the night before.

While lost in his thoughts he lost track of the stomping its approaching his door. Suddenly a wild Asuka was spotted and violent ripped his door open.

"Wake up you idiot!" She yelled as she saw the boy sitting up in his bed. She nearly stepped back when he looked towards her and began standing up. His eyes looked dead and he had large dark circles under his eyes, along with looking sickly pale. His eyes were filled with a certain sadness that she just couldn't describe.

"Yeah yeah, I'm up." Shinji said as he opened his drawers, fishing out his school uniform.

"Geez Third you look terrible." Asuka said to him while examining his sluggish movements. "How much did you sleep last night?"

"Enough." was the only response he provided as he stepped past her and headed towards the direction of the bathroom.

' _Maybe he's just not a morning person.'_ Asuka thought to herself but for some reason she felt like that wasn't the whole story. It looked like something was eating away at him. How had she not noticed this the day before? He looked miserable.

Asuka stepped out of his room and back into the cold hallway. The sun had not yet risen the apartment was still shrouded in darkness. The seasons were beginning to change and it was beginning to cool down. She shivered as a breeze of cool air swept over her. Asuka hated the cold, she liked it hot and humid. She hated being forced to layer up and covering up all her distinctive features. She especially hated cold nights. The feeling of helplessness when she was alone and cold in the darkness. It made her feel weak. Those situations always tended to bring out the worst memories.

Misato had left for work nearly an hour ago, nothing a beer to accompany her early morning voyage. Asuka watched as Pen-Pen waddled across the kitchen to his little fridge. Asuka turned on the coffee maker and sat at the table. Why was she even making coffee? She hated coffee. Maybe she just wanted to seem mature for her first morning with Shinji.

Why though?

She had nothing to prove to him, he was just an immature child.

Right?

While on the subject of Shinji, she heard the bathroom door open and he came out in his classic outfit, though this time he didn't have his shirt tucked into his pants. She looked at him as his head popped out of the towel. His damp, messy hair shined from what little light was hitting it. It had adopted much darker shade, and was now truly black as opposed to his usual dark brown locks. He was definitively looking more lively than earlier in the morning. Life and color had returned to his face, and he was looking much more like an actual living person, rather than a dead body.

"You like staring at me don't you?" Shinji said to her as he walked past the table he was seated at and towards the counter where her coffee was brewing.

"Baka you don't have much time, get to making those breakfasts." Asuka said, ignoring his comment. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was worried about him, even if only slightly.

"I'm not particularly hungry." Shinji replied as he began making his morning tea.

"Well I am and I need food." Asuka said, annoyed at the fact she may not get her morning meal.

"Then make it yourself." Shinji said, pulling open the cupboards and grabbing a single mug. He was about to close it, but he paused. "Did you want any tea?" He questioned as he looked over his shoulder.

"Coffee." Asuka replied, pointing to the slow dripping of the coffee maker next to him.

"Oh I thought that was Misato's, sorry."

"Misato already left for work."

"I see. Does she always leave this early?"

"Yup."

"That's a shame."

"Why is that? Get off to seeing her in the morning?"

Shinji stopped talking. Without Misato around he wouldn't risk saying anything that trigger a hard-core argument. It was far too early for Shinji to put up with Asuka's obnoxious screaming and yelling.

"I wasn't kidding Third, start cooking. You should probably start on our lunches too." Asuka said as she stood up and walked to next to him to grab her coffee.

"And I wasn't kidding either. Make them yourself." He grabbed his cup of tea and began walking towards the table.

"Look you're going to have to make yourself a lunch anyways, you might as well just make one for me too," Asuka began turning towards him. "I'll make it worth your while." Asuka finished in a flirty voice, bringing her index finger up to her chin.

"Where did you get the impression that was going to be making us lunch?" Shinji persecuted.

"Don't tell you're going to eat that slop that serve at school." Asuka said, taking a sip of her bitter coffee. ' _Mein Gott this is terrible.'_ Asuka thought herself, trying to seem as though she enjoyed it.

"I never said that either."

"So you're just not going to eat?"

"Basically."

"And you're expecting me to just go along with that?"

"I'm not expecting anything from you. I believe you called yourself, 'self-sufficient'." Shinji said, quoting Asuka from their dinner conversation the night before. The only response he got out of Asuka was an angry 'tsk' and some foreign muttering. "Never expected you to be a coffee person though." Shinji said, attempting to change the subject before he got her too riled up.

"Why is that?" Asuka asked. Oh her plan was working perfectly... She thought.

"Not a lot of kids our age like coffee." Shinji said.

"It's an adult taste, not too many kids are so mature." Asuka said. She raised a brow and looked back at him. "Do you like coffee at all?"

"Hate it." Was Shinji's response.

"Well that's to be expected. You are just a _child_ after all." Asuka said. ' _Too easy.'_ She thought to herself.

Shinji on the other hand was not so oblivious. He took note of the massive amounts of sugar and milk Asuka was dumping into the small cup, and her extremely slow, infrequent sips as they spoke. He saw right through her little act. A valiant effort, but to no avail. Asuka was far more transparent than she thought she was. Shinji stood up to go walk back to his room.

"Third." Shinji stopped in his tracks. "Food." He kept walking. "Hey listen to me when I'm talking to you!" Shinji only managed one more step before he felt a hand roughly turn him around by the shoulder. She had covered a lot of ground fast. She was about to scream at him but as he turned, his facial expression was alarmingly neutral. His eyes met hers and he looking overwhelmingly... bored. She pulled the collar of his shirt and brought him just a little closer to her. Anger flared deep within Asuka. Her drip on his shirt tightened and her face contorted into a grimace of annoyance. All the while Shinji's expression hadn't changed.

"Say something Third!" She yelled into his face.

Asuka stood in the hallway looking at his back, her hand still held up to where she had grabbed onto him. The feeling of his hand as he removed it from his shirt still lingered and the only word he quietly muttered still echoed in her head.

"Child." His voice was stuck in her head. It was barely a whisper.

Asuka quickly ran into her room, leaving the mug of coffee in the kitchen to cool. She sat on her bead and fumed. ' _Did he seriously call ME a child? Me? I am NOT the one at fault here. Just cuz your lazy ass doesn't wanna make me food doesn't give you the right to...'_ Why was she so mad about this? Any other person could call her a child and she wouldn't have cared in the slightest. But this random boy she had met less than twenty-four hours ago had just verbally shot her down with one word. They didn't look at each other for the rest of morning.

The walk to school had been a quiet one. Asuka stomped quickly to school, hoping to leave Shinji in the dust, but he had kept up well surprisingly. No words were exchanged, as Shinji had his ear-buds in and Asuka was still far too angry with him to start a normal conversation with the boy. As they neared the school, a large group of girls awaited Asuka. Annoyance quickly spread across Asuka's features. Asuka hated every single one of the girls who was awaiting her. The only person in that school that Asuka would call a friend was Hikari. As Asuka greeted the girls with fake happiness, she watched Shinji walk past through the crowd without any hesitation.

* * *

As Asuak walked into the classroom she saw Shinji leaning against the blackboard behind the teacher, his eyes stayed rested on the floor. He would no doubt be going through the normal procedure of introducing himself to the class. Asuka sat at her desk and looked at the boy. She heard whispers from all around the room. She honed in on one specific girls' whispers.

"He's kinda cute don't you think?" One girl asked.

"I haven't even seen his face yet. He wont look up." Her friend next to her replied.

' _Who could ever find that kid attractive.'_ Asuka thought to herself. She watched the seats of the class fill out. In a few short minutes, most of the seats were filled out and the bell rang.

"Rise!" Her friend Hikari called out. The whole class stood from their seats. "Bow!" The whole class obliged. "Sit!" The whole class sat in a mess of loud creaking and squeaks.

"Okay class today we have a new student." Their teacher began. Shinji was then asked to write his name on the blackboard behind him and introduce himself. She heard the obnoxious squeaks of the chalk as Shinji wrote his name on the board. Shinji turned around and stepped to the side to make his writing visible. His writing was incredibly neat. Each stroke of the kanji looked perfect, and started and ended in the perfect spot. There was an awkward silence as Shinji was expected to say his name to the class.

"And your name?" The teacher asked Shinji, awkward scratching the back of his head, thinking his explanation was enough for Shinji to figure it out.

"They can read." Shinji responded.

"Just please tell the class your name." The teacher said, slightly annoyed. Shinji sighed.

"Shinji Ikari." Shinji hated saying his own name. She could never describe why it bothered him.

"Thank you Shinji if you would please take a seat next to Asu-" Before the teacher could even finish Shinji was in an empty seat near the back, across the room from Asuka. Asuka let out a rather loud 'hmph'. She blushed realizing the volume of her outburst and felt the eyes of the entire class peer at her. Except the eyes of Shinji Ikari. He was facing the opposite direction, looking out the window. Come to think of it, that's the position Rei would always sit in. In fact, Shinji was sitting in Rei's empty seat.

Rei almost never showed up to school, so it's no surprise that the teacher had forgotten that Rei sat in that seat. She looked at the back of the boy's head for what seemed like a few seconds, before she was pulled from her thoughts from her friend Hikari who was sitting in front of her.

"Asuka do you know him?" Hikari asked her. "You've been staring at him for a while." Asuka blushed at the realization. "Does Asuka have a crush?" Hikari asked in an excited tone, a smile spreading across her face. Asuka had pushed away every single boy who had come to her, attempting to go on a date with her or even just to talk to her.

"As if." Asuka said. "I'll explain later."

As the lunch bell rang and the whole class scrambled around to their different spots and to get their food, Asuka stayed still and her friend Hikari simply turned her chair to face her and looked at her over the desk. Asuka spent the next few minutes explaining the events of yesterday and last night to her and Hikari only listened with a blush on her face.

"So you two are... living together?" Hikari asked.

"Sadly." Asuka responded, her stomach growling loudly.

"Asuka don't you have a lunch?" Hikari asked. She was used to seeing Asuka bring in a store bought bento everyday.

"No because that stupid ki-" Asuka looked over only to see that Shinji wasn't in his seat. She stood up and walked over to his/Rei's desk and looked out the window. She was pleased when she saw what was happening in the courtyard down below. She let out another 'hmph'. ' _Serves him right.'_ She thought to herself.

"What is it?" Hikari asked her, confused as to why she stopped mid-sentence.

"Your boyfriend's beating up my roommate."

* * *

"Sorry transfer kid. I had to hit ya'," The large boy in a track suit said to Shinji as he sat on the ground, wiping blood from his lip.

"Sorry about that," His friend with long shaggy hair and glasses began. "His sister recently got put in the hospital during that big epidemic last night, he's just taking his anger out on you."

"Not like it was my first choice to pilot the thing." Shinji muttered, spitting blood into the dirt next to him.

The tall boy stopped where he was walking. He quickly turned and stomped back to Shinji, shoving his friend out of the way. He grabbed Shinji's collar and brought him up to eye-level once more. Shinji looked up at the boy with the same expression he wore as Asuka did the same as he was doing. The boy bit his teeth together before punching Shinji once more, though his time he stayed standing. The jock turned around and pushed his friend to follow him up back to the classroom.

Shinji spit out another mouth-full of blood. He wiped his lip with the back of his hand saw the blood smeared on his skin. He slowly began walking back to the classroom. Why was he even doing this. Why did he even bother to pilot. He had never even seen the thing before and they had a trained pilot on stand-by. Shinji sighed heavily.

Shinji walked through the doors and the door went silent. His white shirt was stained and his bottom lip was red like he was wearing lipstick.

"What happened to you?" The teacher asked, looking over at Toji in the back of the room.

"Tripped." Was the response Shinji provided, much to Toji's surprise.

Shinji flopped down in his seat and continued to look out the window, and just a few short seconds later, the bell that signified the end of the lunch break sounded. Shinji toned out the uninformed ramblings of his teacher pertaining to the Second Impact.

Asuka was also very surprised that Shinji had not said anything. Shinji didn't look particularly strong-willed. After all, the only reason he was even a pilot was because of his relation to the commander.

"So. Any specific reasons the jock beat your ass?" Asuka asked happily as she walked in front in Shinji. Half the walk home from school was a quiet one. And Shinji had hoped it would have stayed that way until the end of the walk. Oh how naïve and delusional he must have been

"I think he tried to brain again." Was the response Shinji bared her. Asuka wanted to be mad at him, she really did, but after watching him get punched in the head(twice nonetheless) she couldn't help but feel oddly proud.

"You know." An idea sprouted in her head. "I'm pretty popular, I could keep him from doing it again... if you make me lunch every day." Asuka said, stopping, turning around and facing Shinji as he walked in her direction.

Shinji walked past her, giving her no response. Asuka took a few hurried steps to get back in front of him and this time blocked his path.

"You know Third, I can guarantee you, I hit a lot harder than the stooge." Asuka said as she cracked her knuckles. "I'll have you know I'm easily the most athletic person in this school."

"Your brain's a muscle too. You might wanna work on that one." Shinji said, bumping her shoulder as he walked past her yet again.

"You think that just because I can beat you up that I'm not also smarter than you?"

"I _know_ that you aren't."

"And what makes you so sure."

"I don't pretend to be some sophisticated adult. My entire life isn't based around how much I can inflate my ego. I can do simple, mundane tasks like cooking and cleaning."

Asuka noticed the increasing distance between the two of them.

"Hey wait up!" She called out as she ran after to him. "So what? You know how to cook, big deal. Have you graduated University yet?"

"No I'm in high-school. I think even you can deduce that."

"Yeah well I graduated from University when I was a year younger than you are, what's your response to that."

"Congratulations. You're still oblivious after spending an extended period of time with people much older than yourself."

While it was true that during most of her stay in the University, most people treated her as a child, she did have at least a few, more mature conversations with some of her peers. Though the majority of them were with some older, horny college girls. Mostly talking about boys, alcohol, and how to manipulate men.

The rest of the walk home was quiet, much to Shinji's delight. Asuka had secretly hoped to continue the argument. She quite liked getting into getting debates with people her own age. It gave her a perfect importunity to display her intelligence to all who dared challenge her. Though Shinji was putting up a better fight than most of her peers.

As both Shinji and Asuka stepped through the door to Misato's apartment, the only thought that Asuka could will herself to surface was food. It had been nearly twenty-four hours since Asuka's last meal and that was more than she could tolerate. She ran to the cupboard and pulled our a cup of instant noodles and began to prepare herself a mediocre meal.

"Really that hungry?" Shinji asked as he watched her feverishly rip through cupboards.

"Yes Third you refuse to feed me." Asuka said.

Shinji sighed. He was being way nicer than he usually was. He walked over behind her and snatched the styrofoam cup from over her shoulder. Asuka damn-near punched the boy when he did that. He had already denied her two meals she needed to function normally and was now taking even the lack-luster meal she was preparing for herself.

"What the hell ar-" Asuka began.

Shinji patted her on the head and gently pushed her away from counter.

"Go make yourself busy for a little bit. I'll make something." Shinji said to her as he got onto his knees and dug the pan out from the cupboards under the counter.

Asuka was slightly taken aback by his sudden act of kindness. The head-pat was kinda weird though. She hoped he would never do that again. In public at the very least. He was treating her like such a child and it bothered her. Did he pay no attention during their walk home? Asuka found herself asking these questions while she awkwardly stood and watched Shinji begin his preparations. She blushed realizing she was weirdly staring at his back.

She walked over to the table and sat down, letting her head fall on her outstretched arms. She mirrored a very similar position to the one she adopted last night as she waited for her meal. She looked back to see a mess of auburn hair sprawled out across the table. He looked to see the almost full mug of her mornings coffee still sitting on the counter. He picked up the cup and poured its contents down the sink, before leaving the mug itself standing in the sink to be cleaned with the rest of the dishes at a later date. He then diligently began working on preparing the meal.

It was only a few short minutes before Asuka felt things being deposited onto the table, and looked up to see her meal being place in front of her by Shinji.

"No apron today?" Asuka asked, noticing the lack of the green garment.

"I'm washing it cuz it smelled like ass." Shinji said.

"You're doing the laundry?" Asuka asked as she looked for utensils.

"Yeah." Shinji said as he dropped a fork onto the table, aware of Asuka's inability to use chopsticks.

"Geez, I was more right than I thought I was about you being a housewife."

"For someone who's been through college you aren't very independent."

"I am, I'm just not housebroken like you are."

"You better hope your future husband can cook then."

"Yeah I always saw myself marrying you."

An awkward silence broke the conversation. Asuka continued eating not knowing what she had just said. She took a few more bites before her face turned completely red.

"No no no! I meant someone _like_ you! I didn't actually mean _you!_ " Asuka said, trying to get the point across that she did _not_ want to marry him. Shinji sighed in relief.

"I was waiting for that." Shinji said, glad she wasn't _that_ delusional.

"Hmph. You'd be to lucky to get someone like me." Asuka said, holding her head high.

"Yeah. You'll make a great trophy wife one day." Shinji said.

"What did you call me Third?" She interrogated, standing up and slamming both palms down on the table.

"A trophy wife."

Asuka's face was now red, not with embarrassment, but anger. She gritted her teeth and gave him a death stare. Oh it was only a matter of time before she hit him now, and Shinji was well aware of this. He looked at her with a neutral expression. If she was going to hit him, he was giving her a perfect opportunity to do it right now.

Their eyes locked as they peered across the table at each other. His deep blue eyes looked straight through her. As if she were not worth his time. As if she was beneath him. Oh no, Asuka Langley Soryu was beneath none. She drew her hand back in preparations to slap him. As her hand raised into the air, she waited for the Third Child to flinch. No such flinch came. She inhaled quickly in anger and her hand whipped through the air.

* * *

Asuka awoke to the sound of the mechanical front door opening and closing. She looked over at her alarm and saw that she didn't need to get up from school for another few minutes. Perhaps Misato had left late for work? She never did have the best track record for being on time. She lay her head back down and closed her eyes. She took in her final few moments of rest before she had to trudge her way through her own self-pity all the way to school. As she opened her eyes again, she found that much more than a few minutes had passed. ' _Shit.'_ She thought to herself, realizing she had overslept. She hurriedly got out of bed and threw on her school uniform along with some of her favorite perfume. She ran through the hall and saw that Shinji was nowhere in the small apartment. ' _Of course the baka didn't wake up on time.'_ She stomped over to his bedroom door and ripped it open.

"Wake u-" She found his room empty. A sense of deja-vu washed over her. Her current situation felt so familiar. ' _Where the hell is he?'_ Asuka quickly surveyed the apartment once more but it was clear he wasn't here.

Shinji walked through the empty morning streets of Tokyo-3. Though it wouldn't stay that long for long. Soon Tokyo-3 would be cluttered by its usual morning rush and he would have a tough time getting back to the school. He had left early that morning, needing to venture across Tokyo-3 to get to a certain gas station. The only gas station that would sell him cigarettes. The old man who ran the joint didn't care where the money came from as long as it was real. Shinji was charged an extra 50 cents on the pack, no questions were asked, and they would get on with their lives.

Shinji quite liked the old man. They never had a _real_ conversation, but he just had a feeling that if they did, they would agree on the majority of things. When he reached the gas station, he opened the door and heard the familiar ring of the bell. The man walked to the front counter, and after seeing Shinji, turned and grabbed the pack Shinji always got. He was old, but aged well. His gray hair didn't look out of place, and he didn't seem to be hunched over or look weak and feeble. He was tall and skinny, built similar to Shinji, and had grown out his gray beard into a scruffy mess. Shinji dropped the mess of coins on the counter as he slid the pack across to him. Shinji picked up the pack and put it into a small pocket that was on the inside of a larger pocket in his bag. Shinji turned and began leaving.

The old man didn't bother counting how much Shinji had given him. He knew Shinji paid the right amount exactly, as he always did.

"Take it easy old man." Shinji called out behind him as he walked through the door.

"Stay out of trouble." He said back. Their usual exchange as Shinji left. The same two sentences, every time.

Shinji then began the trek across town to school once more. He deeply inhaled and sighed out the cool air. Shinji quite liked mornings. Though he hated getting up early, seeing as his sleep schedule didn't exactly fit, he still enjoyed the morning cold, the gray sky, the quiet. Short lived in the bustling city of Tokyo-3, unfortunately. Shinji's hands and ears were cold, and the pleasant shivers ran through his body. These quiet moments were what kept Shinji sane, yet at the same time, drove him mad. Being a paranoid genius, his own head was the scariest place he could think of. But it was these quiet, mindless tasks where he could keep his head blank that he enjoyed. Walking, showering, cooking, those types of things. Shinji wished he could enjoy these moments just a little longer.

But just like all good things, peace was no different, it would eventually come to an end.

* * *

He walked through the doors of the school. He was late and the halls were empty and silent. He walked through the life devoid halls of the prison, hypnotized by the rhythmic thumping of his steps. Eventually he stood in the front of the door to his cell. He hesitated as he reached for the knob, as if it wasn't already too late. He opened the door and took a step inside, interrupting his teacher mid-sentence with the creaking of the wooden door. All forty-something eyes were on him, studying him. Oh how he hated this feeling. Being late instantly sentenced you to the judgment of 20-something brain-dead, hormone driven kids, and one senile, delusional, pretentious old man. The teachers glare was locked on him and no words were said for several moments.

"Do you have a pass?" The teacher asked him.

"No." Shinji said, still not moving.

"Do you have a reason for being late?"

"Not a particularly good one."

The teacher sighed.

"Take your seat."

"Hai."

Shinji took a step and saw a blue-haired girl sitting in his seat.

"Actually my seat is being occupied." Shinji stopped and initiated the conversation .

"Ah yes, I forget the other day that you were sitting in Rei's seat, seeing as she is rarely here." The teacher said as he began writing something with a horrible squeak of chalk. "You can sit next to Asuka."

Shinji looked to the empty desk, without looking at her. He hesitated again.

"Hai."

He took seat in the empty desk and sighed. Why had he even decided to torture himself by willingly submitting himself to this monstrosity of an education. He looked around the room, trying to find something to fill the void of his-

Oh fuck.

He had looked at Asuka in his survey of the room, and his eyes had caught hers. He quickly looked past her, his eyes scanning across then quickly back and across again, as if he were reading something on the wall. Though his gaze was not _on_ her, he could see her giving him a death glare. He made sure not to make eye contact again, and continued looking at the wall behind her. Asuka eventually caught on and turned to see what he was looking at.

A blank wall.

She turned back and saw his gaze was now fixed perfectly opposite of her, so that she was looking at the back of his head. No chance of accidental eye contact. ' _Well played Third.'_

The lunch period had come slow that day, feeling like an eternity until they were allowed their brief, confined freedom. Shinji had left the room along with the mob, making sure to stick to crowds so he wouldn't stick out. He didn't know why he did this. He hated crowds, no more than hated, he _despised_ crowds. It wasn't as though he was scared, or at the mercy of other peoples opinions of him. He simply wanted to stay out of other people's thoughts as much as he possibly could. He found himself on the roof of the school, looking out onto the city as the breeze washed over him.

Who knew if he was allowed to be up here.

He stood there, simply looking at the sky, his head completely clear. The calm that accompanied this peace quickly followed, and he stayed still, simply existing.

He sighed deeply. Every day he found himself enjoying these moments more and more. He heard the door he had come through violently open.

And that was the end of his peace. He was being kicked off by what he assumed was an angry teacher. He turned and was faced with something far more terrifying. Asuka Langley Soryu.

"C'mon Third, there's an Angel attack we need to go." Asuka said franticly.

She grabbed his wrist and began pulling him as he followed her.

A feeling of dread had filled his entire being. _'Another Angel.'_ Shinji thought to himself. An unfamiliar feeling accompanied this thought. A feeling that was, to Shinji up to this point of his life, foreign. Forgotten almost, but it was something Shinji would become well-acquainted with.

Fear.

 _So this was late. Very late in fact. I was stuck with a severe case of writers block, seeing as Shinji has been a difficult, yet fun character to write up to this point. I'm having trouble finding a balance where I can make Shinji seem kinda sad, dark and brooding, but at the same time witty, with some smart-ass remarks. Let me know if I'm pulling it off or if he's just complete dog shit._


	4. Chapter 4

**Authority**

Shinji sat on the bench inside the NERV locker rooms, hair and skin still damp from his shower, tower slung over his neck, and lighter in hand. Misato started at him menacingly, her face stern, her eyes cold. She had done fairly well at hiding her anger beneath her poker face, but fairly well wouldn't keep it hidden away from Shinji. Shinji could tell she was more than just 'a bit angry', or annoyed, oh no, behind her stone cold expression, the fires of rage were seething inside of Misato.

Misato couldn't describe her own fury, seeing it was strangely intense yet also tame. She was livid, absolutely overtaken by her frustration. But it wasn't his slight of her authority that had brought her to this state (though it helped), it was his complete disregard for his own life that had really angered her. Whether he recognized his importance or not, it was him, and him alone, that had to protect the city from these Angels for the time being. All these violently angry thoughts were a whirlpool inside her head, yet the tide of her outside persona was unnervingly calm. She had noticed the lighter and cigarette as she stood over him, but made no comment on it. There were more important issues that needed to be attended to.

"Why did you disobey my orders?" Misato asked sternly, a harsh bite in her voice.

"I'm sorry." Shinji responded nonchalantly as he flicked the lighter to life in front of him.

"Do you understand that I am your superior?"

"Yes." He took a long, calm drag of the toxic smoke, letting the hot air settle into his lungs and bring a much needed calmness to him.

"I am the Op-"

"Yes, yes. I understand. It wont happen again." Shinji said annoyingly as he exhaled. Quickly, he inhaled once more, enjoying the seconds of peace it provided him mid argument.

Misato grabbed Shinji by the collar, glaring daggers back down at him. His expression as he looked back up at her was not that of the "deer in the headlights" as you would normally expect when scolding a child. It was a look of disdain, and boredom, a disinterest. How could one eve feel such emotions when in the middle of an argument.

"Listen Shinji, because I am not going to rep-" Misato began angrily.

Shinji had cut her off again, just as he had moments before, but this time he did it wordlessly. He looked at her as he puffed the toxic plume of smoke in her face. Misato winced and looked away as the cloud of ash lingered. Before the smoke even settled Misato had slapped Shinji, and let go of his collar, leaving him standing in front of her, with an unchanged expression.

"That's enough, go get some rest." Misato said in a forced calmness, her breathing rugged.

Shinji took several slow steps back, and around Misato before walking out of the locker rooms wordlessly. Misato looked at the half burnt cigarette laying on the cold tile floor. She looked away from it, ignoring it, and the entire interaction that had just occurred. She didn't want to think about any of it.

* * *

Shinji walked through the mechanical sliding door the Misato's apartment rather quietly, taking off his shoes, then walking into the kitchen. Well, he began walking into the kitchen, but midway through the hallway that joined together the entrance to the apartment and kitchen he could hear the T.V from the living room, which was openly connected to the kitchen. He decided not to go to the kitchen, choosing to avoid any contact with Asuka and simply went into his bedroom. He sat at the small chair in front of his desk and rested his head on his outstretched arms. Asuka had either not heard him come in, or simply didn't care that he had. Shinji had a feeling it was the latter, it was quite hard not to hear the front door to the apartment, as it was quiet loud, and only amplified by the small proximity in which everything was held inside the household.

How had he gotten himself into this mess he wondered. ' _Why me?'_ He asked himself. There were thousands of other cities that the Angels could have attacked. And in those cities millions of other kids that could have been chosen to pilot, many of which would have been far more willing, and capable. But of course, luck would have the Angels strike Tokyo-3, where NERV had been headquartered. Where Gendo Ikari's words ruled supreme, and where he would seek to validate the existence of the son he so wished to forget. He felt sick just thinking about his father. His fists clenched tightly as he absorbed it all. He left reality painfully sink in as he sat in the abyss of his own thoughts. He wasn't mad at the world for sticking him here, he was mad at himself for letting himself get dragged into all this. For someone as disconnected from others' wants and desires, he found it odd that he had felt so obligated to pilot, to protect the lives of those billions who weren't self-pitying prodigies like himself.

Well, sure. Letting the entire world's population die out because he didn't feel like piloting would make him like, the worst, but why should he care? Who would ever find out, maybe the few who knew of Shinji's arrival would loathe him in their last few seconds of existence but so be it. If that measly price was all it took to allow himself to quietly live out the rest his life ignoring others and feeling bad for himself, peacefully and blissfully ignorant to the war for survival humanity would fight. He would go back and tell them no, ten times out of ten.

But of course, he didn't.

He let the weight of social pressures and expectations cripple his judgment, and future thinking. He had accepted nearly without thinking, and let himself be chained and dragged into the war. ' _Stupid, stupid, stupid.'_ He thought to himself. But he didn't have to do this. The realization nearly didn't reach as he trudged through his thoughts. Sure, backing out so late would be met with far more scrutiny than if he had just declined, but what other option did he have. It's not like they'd be able to find him and tell him what he did was wrong. It would be several hours before they knew he was gone, which in the current age, was enough to get halfway back to Tokyo-2 and in just a few days after that he'd be off the grid forever. He could stumble into an orphanage with a new name and a new identity, and could start his life over. He lifted his head from his arms and peeked over his shoulder to the alarm clock on his nightstand. It was only eight p.m, but as soon as Asuka went to bed he could slip out and make his way out of Tokyo-3.

Oh yea, Asuka. She was a pilot too. She could just take over for him and bam, he's off the radar and doing his own thing and she's saving the world like she always wanted. Maybe he should give her an obscure goodbye/thanks/you're welcome before he left. But then again, starting a conversation with Asuka wasn't really worth it. Sure, maybe in a few weeks time when Shinji is already gone for good and she thinks back to their final conversation, she realizes the vague message he left her in his final moments existing as Shinji Ikari, and be awestruck by his genius. It would be a fitting final memory of the unspoken prodigy that no one remembered.

But Shinji knew these were all just theatrics in his head. Too much manga and fiction he supposed. In reality, his final message would be chalked up to coincidence by the inept Asuka Langely Soryu and his disappearance would be labeled as just another kid who ran away and got himself killed in the process. Such was the fate of Shinji Ikari. If only he had been given the same treatment as Asuka, who was hailed a prodigy simply for boasting about her slightly above average intelligence. Shinji sighed heavily. These were the moments he enjoyed yet feared the most. Alone in his thoughts, Shinji had come up with some of his most brilliant schemes, most profound realizations, and most self-accepting reassurances. Yet this wasteland was also where he had discovered some of the most hideous truths, most hope-depriving realizations, and self-loathing anxieties. It was a balancing act, one that Shinji had trouble keeping from getting too lopsided. Too much thinking would lead him down a dark path, one Shinji was not unfamiliar with, but one that left Shinji craving companionship, a feeling Shinji disliked. The idea of dependency was not what deterred Shinji, unlike Asuka.

The search of someone Shinji could hold a conversation with and still find bearable enough to come back and do it again was a process Shinji would prefer not to indulge in. On the other hand, too little thinking and Shinji's mind, like a knife, would loose his edge. Shinji would begin feeling fake happiness, and his feigning of joy would eventually begin to make him feel empty. He would be lying to himself simply to enjoy his existence, a thought Shinji found exceedingly terrifying. And here he goes thinking way too much for his own good again. Well maybe one final conversation with Asuka wouldn't hurt.

He walked out of the door to his bedroom and walked to the living room, before settling himself on the opposite side of the couch from Asuka. Shinji had no plans for a cryptic message he would leave her with. He simply hoped from some closure before he left. He turned and looked at her for the first time since he entered the room. She was looking back at him, her eyes void of any emotions. He knew she must have hated him for disrupting her alone-time, something Shinji despised when done to him, but he figured everyone was a bit of hypocrite now and again.

Asuka, was in fact, somewhat upset that he had barged in on her, but not as much as she would have been normally. She was somewhat fascinated by the Third Child's actions in his earlier sortie. She looked away from him and back at the T.V. She paid no attention to what was on the screen, simply refusing to look at him. Shinji cursed himself for not having come up with an excuse to strike up a conversation, as now he struggled to think of something that seemed ordinary. Shinji sighed. Shinji had used making tea as an excuse to get out of conversation more times than he could count, but this would be the first time in recent memory where he used it to do the opposite. He stood, almost abruptly as he had entered.

"I'm gonna make some tea, want any?" He asked her without looking back.

She looked at him awkwardly. She watched as he trudged out of the room at a snail's pace.

"No." she replied before looking back at the T.V.

Well shit. Shinji went and began boiling the water for the tea he didn't even want. ' _Wasting my time with this girl.'_ he thought to himself. Yet even through his self-criticizing thoughts he found himself drawn to her. He was determined to have some final words with the girl he hated. The whistle of the tea kettle threw him out of his head and back into reality. He poured his tea as he tried to act natural, something he normally didn't bother with. What could he even do that would make him seem unnatural. He was over thinking again. No matter how intensely Shinji hated someone, no matter how logically he would think about something, no matter how aware of his hormonal desires he was, Shinji was, just like any other man, a sucker for pretty faces. He bit his lip in frustration.

Shinji walked with his cup in hand back to the couch and sat himself down gently. Asuka looked at him again and watched him mimic her, 'I don't care about what we're watching, eye contact is just too awkward' facade. Asuka sighed.

"Since I can see you're _desperate_ for conversation, I suppose I could use a quick chat with my new roommate." Asuka said, turned her legs and body to face him.

"How observant." Shinji chuckled.

"Would you rather me play dumb and ignore you until you walk away?" Asuka asked, putting her finger to her lips.

"Either option works, in all honesty, but knowing you have a meager understanding of mens' thought processes just makes this _that_ much more interesting." Shinji said.

"Very condescending for an anti-social shut-in aren't we?" Asuka said.

"It's all part of the charm isn't it?" Shinji responded sipping his tea slowly.

"Oh I'm sure you know so much about what charisma is." Asuka said, sarcasm filling the room.

"Might be a little different from the definition you've come up with, with all the douchebags constantly flirting with you, but I'm sure I can occupy your time just as well."

Asuka cracked a slight smile.

"Quite the Casanova aren't you? I'm sure you're quite the flirt."

"Not what I was implying, but just as true I suppose." Shinji said, still unfazed.

"Oh? Then lay it on me, let's see if you can entertain me a moment."

"Come again?" Shinji asked, finally making eye contact with me.

"Let's see how good of a flirt you are, Third."

"Not sure if I can force my charisma so abruptly on someone such as yourself."

"And why would that be?"

"Because we _are_ roommates of course." Shinji said, forgetting his plan to run away for a moment.

"Must say, I'm a little disappointed Third, so much talk for such an anticlimactic result."

"If you insist, I suppose I could..." Shinji trailed off. He set his tea down on the stool next to the couch and scooted himself just a few inches closer. He looked at her for a moment before positioning himself in a suitable place.

He felt the butterflies in his stomach as their eyes met. Oh how he hated puberty.

"I suppose I should start with saying I don't believe in love-at-first-sight. But attractive woman make men question their ideology all the time. But I digress, cliches never were my strong suit. I suppose mine lie in the art of conversation. Watching man after man get swatted away in their attempts to seduce you makes me cringe. Watching them drop like flies as they walked back dejected, wondering where they went wrong. But you're not as made of stone as you may think. Your weakness lies with my strengths. Together in bed, I guess I could say, though analogous to a fault. You aren't looking for any old guy to waltz his way into your pants, but a witty asshole to charm his way over the walls to your heart. I make no promises in saying I could make such a treacherous climb, but I think I may stand a better chance than some of the other men you may have previously considered." Shinji monologue to her as he looked at her. "Is what I would say, if I were in the position where I was looking to romanticize our relationship." He cleared his throat and scooted back away from her. Talking out of his ass was something Shinji could never quite pull off.

Asuka giggled after hearing Shinji's forced flirts and extended metaphors.

"Not bad Third." She said as she extended her legs back to where he previously sat. "A little too sappy for something I'd expect from a 'witty asshole', and your voice was a little shaky for a flirt."

Shinji felt embarrassed, flirting in his head sounded so much better than when he would vocalize it. Though this was the first time he ever had formally flirted with a girl.

"Wanna see how I flirt?" Asuka asked seductively.

Shinji felt the butterflies again. His hormones must be reeking vengeance on him.

"S-Sure." He said, the stutter making his uneasiness apparent.

Asuka climbed over the couch to him and looked at him in a seductive manner, biting her lips. She ran her hand over to his. She gently laced her fingers with his, and trailed her index finger up to his jaw and tilted his head up to hers. She smiled when she saw his blush, and watched as his eyes moved away from hers. She moved her head past his and whispered gently into his ear.

"I've never been a good talker you know?" She purred into his ear. She turned his head towards his once more and leaned closer. Their faces were mere inches apart. Shinji's blush was glowing and the discomfort was visible on his face. She fell back and began laughing hysterically.

"Men are such idiots." She panted through her laughing. "So easy to manipulate."

Shinji finally let his breath go, unaware he had been holding it.

"All that talk and you barely even interested me, and one sentence and I got you all antsy." Asuka said still laughing.

"I wasn't blessed with such good looks, unfortunately." Shinji said, turning his head away from her.

"So you're calling me hot?" Asuka said, breaking her laughing to ask a serious question.

"I believe that much was clear." He said, refusing to face her when making such a statement.

"Very open about that huh?" Asuka asked, surprised by his blunt statement.

"It's not like you don't know it, it's not like you don't know that I know it, why dance around the subject." Shinji said.

Asuka let out a 'hmph'. She looked for something to argue about in his words, but the truth they rang was undeniable.

"If it makes you feel any better, you aren't _that_ bad looking." Asuka said, withholding the truth only slightly. It's not that she was embarrassed of admitting he was attractive, but she found him to be fairly likable, and didn't want it to cloud her judgment. She did, at that point in time, find him to be quite attractive.

"Thanks... I guess." Shinji replied awkwardly.

He leaned his arm against the couch and let his head fall into his hands as he sipped his tea once more. Shinji's original intentions had completely fled his mind during their playful banter. They seemed to get along fairly well, and their short chat had fulfilled his sub-conscious desires temporarily. Shinji normally wasn't taking part in these kinds of talks, so letting himself converse freely every now and again helped him cope with the reality of hating everybody.

He sighed as he looked at the time. It was near midnight. Soon he would leave for good. 11:39 p.m. Shinji would remember this time as the end of Shinji and Asuka's final conversation. Though brief, and dripping with obsolescence, he found it nice to hold on to these petty, short relationships for long days on the road with nothing but his thoughts. They were barely acquaintances and she would most likely forget this conversation in the near future, but it was nice to pretend.

He watched as she stood and began making her way to her bedroom.

"Night." She mumbled as she walked past him. Shinji breathed easy knowing he could leave in just a few hours. He stood and walked into his room. All his things were ready for his departure, now all he had to do was wait, something Shinji had become quite good at during his life.

* * *

Shinji glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly two a.m. He assumed it was safe to leave at this point. He hadn't heard a sound from Asuka's room in quite some time now. He stood with his bag over his shoulder, and his cigarettes in his pocket. Something to take the edge off never hurt. He had two hoodies on over himself to protect him from the night's cold. As he walked out of the doors of his room, he looked towards the now empty kitchen, illuminated by the moon's shine. He walked over and saw a notebook and a pen sitting for him, almost like it was set there for him on purpose.

He opened the notebook and clicked the pen. He began to write. He figured he could write Asuka a message after all, their conversation had sparked a new interest in her. But as he wrote her name he drew a blank. _'This is stupid'_ he thought to himself. He barely knew her and he was going to write her a goodbye letter? What an absurd thought. Always had to be the depressed protagonist.

He crumpled the ball up into a wad and threw it into the trash. Why would he even consider such an act. He walked back out the door, lighting the cigarette in his mouth as he took his first steps out of the apartment. The doors opened and closed with a loud mechanical sound. As he heard the sound of them closing behind him, he breathed a sigh of relief and chemicals. He didn't look back as he walked out of the complex and onto the streets of Tokyo-3.

As he sat at the train stop, smoking his cigarette, he thought about his and Asuka's earlier conversation, and how he attempted to flirt with her when she asked him to. As he thought back, he found it incredibly cringey and stupid. He thought about it, and found himself thinking about Asuka non-stop. It was just because she was the first girl he had talked to in a long time, and his first extended conversation with someone his own age in a long time on top of it. That had to be it right? Why else would he be obsessing over a few minutes of conversing? He thought back to his cringey flirtation once more. He watched as the train pulled to the stop and doors opened.

"Love at first sight huh?" Shinji said to no one in particular.

He stood up and thought about his statement. He dropped the cigarette and stepped on it as he began boarding the train.

 _What a stupid delusion._

* * *

 ** _So it's been a real long while since my last update, and this chapter wasn't nearly as long as I hoped it would be, but when you scrap all your writings because your self-conscious and indecisive, this is what you're left with. Hoped you enjoyed my dogshit writing, and hope for another update in the near(ish) future. (Hope you all had a good christmas/new years)_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**And here comes the 5h edition of Flower in the Dark. This will actually be the first time I get a story past 5 chapters so, new milestone? I suppose so, really shows my dedication to writing these stories. This may not be the best time to write this seeing as its currently… lets see, three am and I'm supposed to wake up to take finals in about 3 hours so yea, priorities I guess. So I hope this turns out okay, or I just fucked myself for no good reason, but hey thats how things go I guess. Enjoy my transcribed excrement.**_

 **Priorities**

Shinji walked slowly through what was commonly considered the ghetto of Tokyo-3. Strip clubs and trash littered the streets, and you never seemed more than 10 feet from either. It was well past midnight, and he watched as drunk adults stumbled through the puddles and wet concrete of the alleys. Bums from all over the city gathered in the slums at night, crowded around their cliché trashcan fire-pits. How many days had it been since he ran away? Four or five? Who knew, but more importantly, who cared. Shinji found an empty alley-way, something quite rare for these parts, and stopped his walk. He leaned against the wall and pulled the trusty pack from out of his pocket. He had two left. Well he hadn't smoked all day technically.

He popped it out of the pack slightly and lightly bit the end of it with his lips, drawing it from the pack. He lighter followed shortly, sparking the cigarette to life. The nicotine was in his lungs and just a few moments after it was in his head. No one payed attention to him as they passed the opening to the alley. After all, seeing someone taking a smoke break around here wasn't too uncommon.

Shinji had wandered Tokyo-3 for several days now, no real destination or objective. He was far from Misato's apartment, so he was safe to assume he was too out of the way to be found out accidentally. He wondered if there was a search being carried out for him, and if so where they were looking. The slums he currently resided in were safe, and he surely wasn't the only runaway there. Finding this particular area was difficult, especially if you don't search for it specifically.

He found this lifestyle quite calming, all things considered. The chemicals kept his mind for sinking into depression, and there were plenty of things to distract him, and keep from actually _thinkin_ g all too much. Minutes passed, and he took his final draw, and held it in his lungs for several long moments. He looked up at the sky as he exhaled gently. There were no stars of course, pollution and a couple hundred million watts of lights would keep those in check. He had decided to continue his walk. He had enough money to last him for a while before he had to start begging. It was amazing how much a teenager could make with the internet these days.

He was, however, a bit hungry, and he wouldn't dare buy food in these parts. He decided the place to go was a twenty-four hour supermarket. He walked slowly, enjoying the cool breeze, the hustle and bustle of the common-folk passing by, the random people vomiting in alley-ways, the occasional man being thrown out of the casino.

The walk was short, all things considered. He walked through the isles calmly, assessing his options. He looked for one of those cheap, pre-made lunches that lazy parents would buy their children for school. Sadly, the majority of them contained something Shinji dreaded. Seafood. A preference so uncommon in Japan that eating out was quite the hassle. Not because there was nothing for him to choose, but because everyone just _had_ to barrage him with questions as to why he didn't like it as much as they did. Once he found something agreeable he grabbed a bottle of water and walked himself to the register.

There he saw a girl that he recognized from past years in school. She was considered very attractive, and was quite popular. What was her name again? _"Mikasa or something?"_ Shinji thought to himself. He couldn't remember, but he found it funny that she was working the night-shift at a supermarket in this part of town. It was a Sunday wasn't it? Working this late on a school night, Shinji could put her family life together pretty easily.

As he rang it up, it was clear that she had recognized him as well.

"Hey, Shinji right? How have you been recently?" She asked with her fake cashier enthusiasm. Oh how he dreaded small talk.

"It's been alright. You?" He responded as politely as he could. His voice was a bit more raspy than usual.

"Good, good. What are you doing out tonight? Coming back from a party?" She asked as she began bagging his purchase. Why was she bagging it, it was like two items?

"Guess you could say that." He responded.

"What teacher do you have this year? I never see you around at school." She asked with a big smile as she handed him the bag.

Shit. What was his name?

"Um… I'm in class 2-B." He responded to the best of his ability.

"Oh! The new girl, what's her name… Asuka is in that class right? Do you know her?" She asked, unaware of their relationship.

Shinji struggled for a moment to find an answer. What was the right word to describe their acquaintance?

"Yeah… I've talked to her a few times." He responded.

"That's cool, is she nice?" She asked.

' _Why is she asking all these questions, let me leave.'_ She was being overly talkative. It's not like they were long-lost childhood friends. He had talked with her only a few times, when he was forced to work with her in a group project.

"She's very sassy." Shinji responded.

' _Sassy? Are you kidding, am I her mother."_ He berated himself internally.

She giggled lightly at his comment.

"Hey, can I have your email address? It'd be cool to talk to you sometimes." She said, smiling again.

" _Fuck oooooff."_ Shinji thought to himself.

"Sure, I guess." Shinji responded.

The girl pulled out her phone and began creating a new contact. Shinji handed her his phone and let her copy the address.

"Okay cool thanks!" She responded, once again, extremely happily.

"Yup." Shinji said and finally left.

"Cya Shinji! Be safe!" She called out to him waving.

Why was she being so persistent. Shinji cursed himself for not being more openly displeased with her conversing, but he tended to oblige in these mindless small talks. He looked at his phone and saw the notification. " _Misaki sent you a message!"_

" _Close enough."_ Shinji thought to himself as he read her name. He put his phone back in his pocket and ignored it. He wouldn't dare respond to a stranger trying to befriend him.

Shinji, however, was unaware that the girl who was only so kind to him because she had developed a major crush on him during their few days of working together. She had always been attracted to older, more mature boys, and found his grumpiness and distaste for other peoples attempts at grammar school humor to be attractive. She however had never acted on her desires and had often fantasized of a situation where she would be able to talk to Shinji again.

Sadly, their love story would end there, as she would practically never see, or talk to Shinji again, despite her best efforts to captivate his interest. Maybe she was the true protagonist of this tragedy? Who knew.

He found a suitable park bench and sat down to eat what was technically his breakfast. After eating he sat and simply continued to stare at the blank sky. Soon he would begin his trek to Tokyo-2. He had spent a few days mentally preparing himself for the leave, and that was left were the literal preparations for the several day long walk. He had a few hours before the sun came up and the solar panels would artificially distribute the sunlight through the city. He decided the park bench was as good a place as any to get some sleep. He hoped to wake up before the sun came up and get moving again. He laid on the bench and let himself drift off to sleep under the familiar blank ceiling.

* * *

Blue eyes opened with the artificial morning lights invading retinas. As the body and mind woke up, the sense of responsibility overwhelmed them and they were forced to get up. She walked herself out of the door and into the bathroom to begin the morning routine. She picked up her toothbrush and began going to work as she let the water run and heat up to her preference.

She spit into the sink and smiled into the mirror to make sure nothing was stuck in her teeth. After a thorough two second examination, she removed her clothing and began to step into the shower. She let the warm water rush over her in a warming calmness. She took these next ten to fifteen minutes relax and mentally prepare her for the day that would follow. Nothing too stressful would be happening today, as they would be going on a field trip. It was a museum of course, including lots of Pre-Second Impact memorabilia. Though of course, museum and field trip are never in a sentence alone, and worksheet must always butt its way in, to the disdain of students.

As she stepped out the shower, her damp hair fell across her shoulders, the red curls standing out against her silky-white skin. She dressed herself in the mandatory school uniform and stepped out into the kitchen, curling her terribly coarse hair.

"Morning Asuka." Misato grumbled to her as she sat at the kitchen table, head in her arms. She yawned heavily and took a swig of her beer as she sat up. "Looking forward to the field trip?"

"Not entirely." Asuka said, Misato's yawning contagious.

"What are you studying that's bringing you to the Tokyo-3 Museum?" Misato asked, finally deciding to stand and prepare herself for work.

"Wouldn't know," Asuka replied. "I never pay attention."

"Don't necessarily expect you to."

"Why do I even have to go?"

"On the field trip?"

"To school."

"That's above my payroll."

"Ask the higher-ups."

"I'm not about to get fired."

"Then take me and I'll ask."

"I'm not about to get fired."

"Then I'll ask at the next debriefing."

"Hope you don't expect an answer."

"They better hope they have a good one."

Misato sighed, relenting to Asuka's demands.

Misato walked into her room, and the rustling of clothes and things being thrown around the room could be heard. She walked out fully dressed, and thoroughly doused in perfume.

"I still have some time, want me to drive you to school?" She asked, looking at her watch.

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

Asuka stood within the crowd of a few hundred students outside the entrance to the Tokyo-3 Museum. A teacher explained how they would be given a slip of paper with their group number on it, and that they were to report to a certain area designated to their number. There they would be given their worksheets and would travel the museum in a group to fill them out. Asuka was given group number two. ' _How fitting'_ she thought to herself. She was to go to her group by the World War II section. She was the first to walk through the doors, not waiting for the teacher to finish his re-explanation.

She stood there, impatiently tapping her foot, as she waited for her group to arrive. She was never quite fond of waiting. She saw several no-name students walk up. She didn't recognize any of the four students that walked up. There were three girls, apart from herself from the group, and some jock. The jock tried to act cool as he walked up, thinking he was secretly checking all four of them out. But that was in his head, and reality told that he was ogling all of them.

"Group two right?" One of the girls asked, holding up her paper.

"Yup." Asuka said assertively.

The girl assessed her worksheet.

"Where do you think we should-" She began

"I've already got the first few done." Asuka interjected, holding up her half-completed page.

"Been here before?" The boy asked, as he hurriedly copied the answers.

"No, just not an idiot." She said confidently.

No one bothered responding, simply continued scribbling in her answers.

"Let's see…" One of the girls began as she read the question to herself. "What percentage of marine life did the Second Impact destroy?" She said as she then read the question out loud.

"The Second Impact stuff is over that way so we should probably check there." Asuka responded

No one objected, at least Asuka didn't hear any, as she was already half-way to the exhibit when she had finished her sentence. Asuka stood in front of it, skimming through the plaque for the information she was looking for. The boy walked next to her slowly.

"Hey, you're the new girl right?" He asked, looking at her paper to see if she had filled any questions out yet. She hadn't.

"Mmhmm." Asuka hummed in response.

"Where did you live before you moved here?"

"Germany."

"Oh. What's it like over there?"

"Shitty."

"Oh."

Their conversation ended quickly.

It was later than he had hoped when he sat up. He had hoped to wake up before the morning rush so no one would see him and run the risk of someone recognizing him, but he seemed he slept through it all together. He reached into his pocket to check the time on his phone. 10 am, how many hour of sleep was that? Nine? Eight? Definitely more than usual. He grabbed his backpack and started walking. He popped in his headphones shortly after and all that was left in the world was him and the sidewalk.

"Done already?" The teacher asked, shocked at the speed in which they finished.

"Yup." Asuka said to him, holding the paper out to him, her group standing around her. He took the paper from her and quickly skimmed through the first few questions to make sure she had answered them appropriately.

"Very well." He said, taking the papers from the entire group. "You may walk around and explore until we call the students back in."

Asuka had already walked away. She noticed one of the girls from her group was walking in the same direction as her, split apart from the rest of the group. She turned quickly and stopped in front of the girl.

"Why are you following me?" She pointed at the girl.

"I just wanted to talk and I didn't want to be alone with the rest of the group." She put her hands up like Asuka's finger was a gun, bullet of accusation in the chamber ready to be fired.

Asuka put her hand down and put both on her hips. Asuka looked away, unsure of what to say in this situation.

"You're Asuka aren't you?" She asked.

"Feel like I've been asked that a lot today, word's getting around huh?" Asuka said, turning around and continuing walking slower than before.

"Yeah, everyone's talking about you."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Mostly good, almost everyone has nothing but good to say about you."

"And who's saying the bad?"

"I've only actually heard one bad thing, but it wasn't really all that bad."

"And just what exactly did you hear?" Asuka turned suddenly once more, intrigued.

"That you were sassy." The girl said, avoiding eye contact.

"And who said that?"

"I really shouldn't say."

"Do I know them?"

"He said you guys had talked a few times."

Asuka ran through the list in her head. Boys in her class that she had talked to more than once. Not many. None actually. Wait no one was coming to mind, who is this mystery boy.

"Who?!"

"Shinji! Shinji Ikari." The girl was startled by her sudden rise in volume.

"Oh." Asuka's voice full of defeat. Her posture slumped and she turned back around.

"Yeah… I saw him last night and we talked a little bit." Misaki felt like she had messed up, and shouldn't have said his name." Asuka sharply turned a third time, she was starting to get dizzy.

"Last night?" Asuka asked deductively.

"Yeah, at like midnight I saw him walking around." Misaki looked away again.

"Are you sure about that?" She asked, more suspiciously than before.

"Yeah, I have his email if you wanna ask him."

* * *

It only took 10 hours from Asuka putting his email into her phone before Shinji was being hauled away into a car by NERV agents. Shinji didn't resist much, it's not like he had much of a chance against 4 six-foot-something hulking men. They quite roughly threw him into the backseat of the car, like he was some kind of criminal. Oh wait.

"Easy, Agent Smith." Shinji said to the man as he closed the door.

Shinji sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair in one of NERV's many lobbies. Misato stood several feet away from him watching him. They didn't make eye contact.

"Did you enjoy your little walk?" Misato asked him viciously.

"A couple more days would've been nice." Shinji responded, still staring at his feet.

"And if an Angel attacked?"

"I'm not the only pilot."

"But you're the only one who can pilot Unit-01 effectively enough to take an Angel down."

"Isn't an organization like this supposed to be a little better prepared than that?"

"Shinji.."

"Whatever." Shinji sighed.

A long silence ensued.

Misato sighed. "Go home." She said shaking her head.

"You trust me to walk myself home after that?" Shinji asked, condescending as could be.

"A ride has been arranged."

Shinji walked out of the room, a final sigh being let out. A subconscious cry for help maybe? A futile effort in times like this. Misato now stood in the room alone, staring at the door Shinji had walked out of.

"Fuck." She muttered to herself.

* * *

Shinji walked through the door of Misato's apartment quietly, only to see the last person he wanted to talk to at that given moment. Well that would be everyone, but this one was particularly bad. Asuka stood a few paces into the hallway, hands on her hips, glaring at him. She lifted her arm and pointed to him. She began to speak.

"An-"

"Save yourself the breath," Shinji interrupted her almost immediately, "There's not a person alive persuasive enough to make me feel guilty. I've already gotten a lecture."

"Then what about the seven billion that could have died if an Angel attacked?" Asuka put her hands back on her hips. "Think then you'd feel guilty then?"

"Corpses don't feel guilt if I recall. And besides, aren't you the 'World's Best Pilot'?" Shinji tried to walk past her but she wouldn't let him.

"You have a chance to save the world, to be hailed as a hero worldwide, and you're running away from it like some child. Why don't you just _think_ a little bit?"

"Why would I want to pilot? What's in it for me? Glory? Fame?"

"Yes! Exactly, how do you not see it?" Asuka said, continuing to block him off.

"And if I don't want that?"

"Why _wouldn't_ you want that?"

"A difference of opinion then. Good, that's sorted out, can I go now." Shinji tried to force an end to their conversation.

"No."

"Then what else do you want from me?"

"Why don't you like piloting?"

"You don't listen well do you?"

"You haven't given me a good enough reason yet."

"It's scary."

"It's… scary?" Asuka said, shocked almost. "You'll let the world die because you're a little scared?"

"You'd do the same." He tried to force his way past this time. She held her ground. She was definitely stronger than she let on.

"As if. I'm not a _child."_

"You've got the mindset of one." Shinji gave up and leaned against the wall, his backpack between him and the wall.

"I'm not the one who-"

"Can you just fuck off. Please."

"Aw, is Little-Shinji mad?"

"'Little-Shinji' thinks you're annoying and stupid. Can I go now?"

Asuka stepped aside and let him walk past, glaring at him and frowning.

"Thank fuck." Shinji muttered as he walked past her and into his room.

"Aren't you the one who so awkwardly tried to flirt with me earlier?"

"Yes it was weird and awkward. I recognized right away, but I was too ass-deep to stop at that point."

"Still makes you seem like a loser."

"You were still into it."

"As if."

The door shut and their conversation ended.

* * *

 _So this chapter was in draft for like what, 6 months. Not really that good for 6 months of work but im sure someone out there likes it. Maybe._

 _I dont have a lack of inspiration or anything, and its not that i plan on quitting the story, i just cant be fucked to type it out most of the time. Anyway, enjoy my forceful spew of horseshit if you so please. Rate and review? Or don't, it always pissed me off when people put that in their author's notes anyway. If you read this far, congratulations, you're a real trooper. Comment some stupid shit as a reward. Favorite anime character? I don't care. Just always remember..._

 _Emoji Movie July 28th. Watch the skies young ones._


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